Famous last words...

[The Rook]

"That's not how you plant tulips!"

Here's the story, my wife bought this tulip planter that had a 3 foot long shovel like handle and a pad to step on. She tried using it but the ground was too hard and it wouldnt dig in.

I grabbed it from her, uttered that now famous quote and did my best Tony Hawk flying kick flip with a full twist......only to have it bust in half once it hit the ground. I was parallel with the ground a couple feet in the air and used my arm to break my fall. I ended up dislocating my shoulder and tearing my bicep muscle. Ouch! The pain was bad enough but going to work with a sling on Monday with everyone asking "how did that happen?" was the worst part. I had most people convinced i did it playing basketball, then my smart a$$ wife called my buddy and told him the truth.

[Rod]

you busted your ass planting tulips!! that's awesome heres one more me

"hand me that butter knife I can get the toast out of the toaster with that!"

"how hard can that be?"

[gearheads78]

"Well, Mr. Big Brother IRS man, let’s try something different; take my pound of flesh and sleep well."

[rosslord]

Any statement that has to be prefaced with "trust me," and my personal favorite from work:

"As long as nothing goes wrong, we should be fine."

[fordsbyjay]

"im not drunk"

LOL

Hahahahah, that is a good one but my favorite is:


Oh ****......

[gearheads78]

"Well, Mr. Big Brother IRS man, let’s try something different; take my pound of flesh and sleep well."

So did no one but me read the suicide letter from Joe Stack?

[Rod]

I didn't read all of it but I did see that, those are famous last words now!!

[Bob's68]

Somes everything up

"Watch this."

[snoop]

They always send extra bolts encase you loose some.

Just tap it with the hammer.

its as good as new.

just, put it in gear and hold the brake.

[xpsled]

Last year in Thailand I yelled out the famous last words.....
"Hey boys watch this" as i dove head first with my hands by my sides into a swimming pool. The only problem was I hadn't checked the depth.
1m deep head first=17 stitches and to broken vertebrae

[jake8092]

2 Blocks left Till I turn on my street...1 AM...buck 20...4 wheel manual drum brakes...start shutting her down...massive misjudgment on brake fade...overshoot my turn...scary part was that the bridge over the Arkansas river was out, that bridge happened to me 100 yards past my turn!

My words to the co-pilot (both of us 16-17ish) Shi*'ll buff out!!

Found Jesus pretty quick when we stopped in time! lol