Politically Correct Holiday Greeting

[Bandit]

So as not to offend anyone...Enjoy!

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our
best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially
responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral,
celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within
the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of
your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect
for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others,
or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at
all . . .
. . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and
medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the
generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due
respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great,
(not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other
country or is the only 'AMERICA' in the western hemisphere), and
without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical
ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual
preference of the wishee.
(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms.
This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is
freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It
implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the
wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where
prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This
wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual
application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance
of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and
warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance
of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)