Were your 20s rough?

[monteboy84]

I'm 24, have a great full-time job, a small side-business, and own a home, but yet I sit here bumming because I'm not married yet and can't necessarily afford all the things I'd like to have. The thing we all need to focus on is being thankful for what we DO have, and not bumming over what we don't.

-matt

[Northeast Rod Run]

I would have to say my twenties were very hard on me, in certain ways, but they were also great to me at the same time. If you asked me back then, I would have said that there were some things that I wish never happened and wish I handled some others differently. But now that I've barely hit my 40's I will say that I believe if things didn't happen the way they did, I wouldn't be the person I am today. I really don't believe that my life would have been any better than it is now. MAYBE is would have been close to the same, but the path wouldn't have been as interesting.

Life is a journey not a destination.

[madmax]

In High School I was an all star football player (OT) with several D1A schools chomping at the bit to recruit me. Unfortunately I didn't understand what I needed to do, and had very unsupportive coaches who would rather get their QB recruited to a POS school, then help me get into a Top 10 BCS school. After failing to get into school ANYWHERE for football, even D2/D3 I had a sense of the fk-ups to come.

Your story sounds similar to mine. I've been a musician all my life and in high school I got into the marching band/drumline scene. From the first time I heard the 'line play, I knew it was what I wanted to do (7th grade). There is a league of "professional" bands, called drum corps, or DCI, that tour for two months out of the year and rehearse 16+ hours a day. The only catch: you "age out" when you're 21. So, it's a time-limited deal.

When I got to high school, a huge wave of talent hit our band, and our drumline program was one of the best in the state (and nation) to begin with, and with my sophomore and junior years - no one in the country could touch us.

As I was getting ready to graduate, my drum staff was trying to push me to go and march... but I was the only one graduating that year, no one would try out with me, all of the other instructors were wooing over the other kids who no better than I to get them going in music careers, etc. I was always the guy who did his job and didn't suck the spotlight, winning Rookie of the Year, etc, etc. Looking back, the drum staff were the only people I ever got any good advice from... and part of the reason I wanted to get into the activity. I don't know what I would have done without them/drumline in high school.

Fast forward. I end up attending Florida State instead of a "better" school. Didn't march. Had "fun" for a while, but didn't really progress, and just got miserable taking classes I really didn't enjoy.

I know I couldn't have marched forever, but I would have enjoyed writing/teching for a corps. No money in it - but I would have become a minor celebrity, had fun, and learned a lot. Many people say they have no idea where they'd be without DCI - and I'm one of them. Without that experience it has been very hard breaking back into the music scene. I haven't really played in 4-5 years now.



I know that life's a journey or whatever the cliche is, and that I will figure something out. I overcame a lot as a kid and know how dark things can get and know I wouldn't be the man I am today without those experiences.

Thanks for the contributions. It's interesting to see how things worked out for people.

[John Wright]

My son has been in music most of his life(now in 9th grade) and in symphonic band for several years now. Last year he was on the field marching and he absolutely loves it. He is first chair in everything he does...presently marching with a clarinet, but loves all of the woodwinds and brass. I enjoy hearing the drumline practice and warm up....gets my foot a tapping. I'm working on fabricating new carts for many of the front ensemble instruments so that we can get them on/off the field quickly. They didn't have field friendly frames, so I'm building these out of steel with 10" rubber tires.


Here's my last frame/cart for the marimba:

[madmax]

Sorry ahead of time for sounding like a whiny birch. This is the short version.

Thanks for your service. I know there are people out there who have it a LOT rougher than I. I'm not one to complain. Won't start now.

another hint, 30 year olds are easy pickins,usually have things fingures out and they won't mess with you head.

I have long been over the bimbos my age (not saying I don't discriminate! )

I also spent a lot of my time in the "blur". Which, again, is totally out of character for me. FSU is a pretty big party school. Did I have fun (at times)? Hell yeah! Would I have had a much better college experience at a place like Brown? ...yeah. Most likely (but there is no way of knowing).

[QUOTE=DarkBuddha]As for you, IMHO... disillusionment... sounds like what you've run into.[/QUOTE[

Disillusionment... maybe. Mostly I am angry at myself for not listening to myself and making compromises. I don't like compromising.

[DarkBuddha]

Ah... you've got the "coulda-woulda-shoulda's". That's treacherous territory, 'cause life seldom works out quite the way we plan or expect. All I'm saying is don't be too harsh about whatever decisions and choices you made... it's just not that simple... at least that's what my 30s taught me.

BTW, one of the great things about the field of music is that it hosts tons of different perspectives and offers a wide variety of opportunities. I came to music as a self trained cellist and played in jr. and sr. high just to have the easy class. 20 years later I'm getting a doctoral degree in music composition (computer music primarily)... again, ironic considering my bottom 10 status in high school and the lack of support or encouragement in my youth. Now I'm a hardcore academic and artist, and I tend to talk about music in the big M sense of the word. But I always find myself appreciating a good marching band, drum line, rock/rap/pop band, etc. (though I often wish they'd use their powers and talent for good rather than evil). Music is definitely a very tough business, but it's also one of the great aspirations and endeavors of humanity (which gets lost in the business of music). But consider getting back into it in a more active way in whatever way you can. Even if you can't be that person you could've been, you can at least be a more true version of who you want to be.

[Tony_SS]

Disillusionment... maybe. Mostly I am angry at myself for not listening to myself and making compromises. I don't like compromising.

Yep. You get what you settle for, and you deserve what you tolerate.

[monza]

and I clicked thinking it was a about 20's (wheels)

those 20's I cant remember.

[DFRESH]

What's really messed up about your 20s is that, while they're the most-challenging of times as you plot your future path, they end up being the ones you remember most fondly. Funny how that works.

My 20s were punctuated with periods of feast and famine, several job changes, and hundreds of women.

Guess what I remember most fondly?

Scott, hundreds? Of women? Really? Is this like the fish stories you tell as you get older? LOL. It was all the women wanting to get into Popular HotRodding wasn't it---Just kidding man, you are a handsome man---I can see it happening.

My twenties were memorable both good and bad. It reminds me of a quote I adhere too now, "Education is what you get from reading the fine print. Experience is what you get from not reading it." So true. I learned more in my twenties by not reading the print for sure---those experiences taught me to read the fine print now. Glad I learned it early on. You will probably learn the same---keep moving forward--you only have one day at a time to do it--make each one count so that you don't have regrets. Easier said than done I know.

Doug

[absintheisfun]

When I was in my 20's all kinds of things went wrong. I almost lost my car because I couldn't afford it, almost kicked out of my apartment because I couldn't afford it, amounted massive debt. I dated a complete PSYCHO girl, twice. Had a horrible job, and that is just the "kinda" bad crap. Man it was rough. Real rough.

...

HOWEVER, when I look back at that time, I look with great fondness and miss those damned 20's. While there was a whole lot of bad, it was packed full of a whole lot of good. I ultimately met my wife, a girl I grew up with. I went back to school to get my degree. I grew up and became who I am today.

It all depends on your perspective and where you look. I can easily get on a rant on my twenties and how horrible they were, but I can just as easily rave on my twenties and how awesome they were.

It'll all work out dude. And when it is in the past, you will find a way to look upon the time with fondness. As my Mother would always say, "This too shall pass."

[rob07002]

You learn in your 20's and earn in your 30's.

Just enjoy the ride because it's all part of life. Keep a positive attitude, think smart and work hard and stay true to being a good, moral person. Things will happen if you are always looking aggressive.

Oh, and do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

And don't forget, YOUR in your 20's!!! Dammit!!! Wait till you have to watch what you eat, take vitamins, a night of drinking equals 2+ days of hangover, real responsibility, a mortgage, car payments, and on and on.

[wmhjr]

20s rough?

When I was in my 20s I was deployed all the time. I thought it was pretty rough.

Then when I was in my 30s I had way more responsibility - was generally deployed all the time, and thought it was rougher yet.

Then when I got into my 40s......

See the pattern? Life is a journey best taken with open eyes, and open mind, and a good attitude. It's like when I enlisted in the Army. I thought when I became a PFC my life would be far better. Then when I made corporal. Then when I made buck sergeant. Then when I made staff sergeant....

Then I decided to go to OCS because I knew it would be WAY better as an officer - only to find that I was treated worse as a butter bar than I was as a corporal, and so on through the officer ranks. We all want what we don't have, and are easily disappointed after we get it. That's where the good attitude comes in.

[69stang]

John Wright,
My youngest daughter is on the HS color guard team and I can relate as I help out on props and am a pit dad. Started last year when she was a freshman and I was out of work and had the time. Its very rewarding as I get to be more involved with her where I couldn't be with my 2 older kids.

Back on topic, I spent my 20s in the AF having fun and traveling. Went in straight out of high school. I wanted to work on jet engines and couldn't afford schooling. I do regret not taking more classes while I was in but at the time I was doing what I wanted to do. I didn't think about what else I wanted to do till I got out after 10 years. I ended up wrenching on trucks and learned fabrication. Those early experiences have brought me to where I am today professionally. My military & jet engine experience are an asset I carry with me even on my current job. Am I doing what I wanted when I was younger? No, but I'm not all that far off either, designing & building just in a different industry.

[John Wright]

John Wright,
My youngest daughter is on the HS color guard team and I can relate as I help out on props and am a pit dad. Started last year when she was a freshman and I was out of work and had the time. Its very rewarding as I get to be more involved with her where I couldn't be with my 2 older kids.

Yup it's nice to have extra time with my kids doing what they love to do...I'm just there for support(I work the pits too). I drive the equipment truck and the gator that pulls a trailer to get all of that equipment on/off the field. I can hear their drill/routine over and over and never get tired of it. They are always tweaking it and making it better for the next band competition.

Sometimes I wish I was still in my 20's...I had some really fun times when my wife and I were dating, we travelled all sorts of places just having fun together and with friends......although I wouldn't trade a minute of it without my kids.