Ten Worst!

[Damn True]

Yeah for GM!

10. Chevrolet Aveo Chevy likes to tout the Aveo as the “lowest-priced [new] car in America." In spite of their warning “content may vary,” it’s easy to see how they achieved that goal. From the hollow-sounding doors, bargain-basement plastics and skinny tires to the coarse-sounding engine that strains when faced with even the slightest incline, it exudes “cheap” from every ounce of its being. The Aveo also refutes the smart shopper’s mantra “you get what you pay for.” In the case of this captive Korean import, you pay little and get even less. - FW

9. Lincoln Mark LT Lincoln’s badge engineered Ford F-150 is an unholy degradation of the world-famous Lincoln Mark nomenclature. While Brother Navigator sets the luxo-truck standard for wikkid beat boxes, wood-trimmed tillers, ventilated seats and power running boards, the LT went the adhesive-backed bling route, hit the showers and called it a day. From the richly textured but rock-hard interior plastics to the exterior’s mega-dose of bottom-dollar spizzarkle, the Mark LT is a rolling testament to Dearborn’s short-term, suicidal reliance on bean-counted engineering. - SM



8. Saab 9-7x The Saab 9-7X is a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. Moreover, the Saab 9-7X is a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. I can't stand the fact that the Saab 9-7X is nothing more than a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. And when you stop and think about it, the Saab 9-7X is little more than a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. Who did GM think they were fooling when they released the Saab 9-7X, which is nothing more than a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats? You know what I hate most about the Saab 9-7X? It’s a Chevy Trailblazer with the ignition key between the seats. - JL

7. Subaru B9 Tribeca Subaru execs may have been stony-faced when TTAC described the front end of their new SUV as a “flying vagina," but at least they didn’t turn to stone. Given the unrelenting hideousness of the Tribeca’s design– from its genital front end to its fallopian dash to its alien eyes rear end — they should count themselves lucky. The fact that the B9 is also slow, thirsty and cramped proves that repulsiveness can be more than skin deep. Why Subaru felt the need to enter the SUV segment when it offers such a wide range of superb four wheel-drive sedans and wagons is anybody’s guess. Clearly, they shouldn’t have bothered. - RF

6. Chevrolet Monte Carlo The Chevrolet Monte Carlo is a wrong wheel-drive engineering joke from the late ‘80’s. But it's main claim to shame is its merciless butchering of Chevy's once decadent “personal luxury” lines. In one fell swoop, the baroque fenders went from tacky-posh to adolescently unrefined. From the front, the Asian-inspired headlights assault the muscle car values once associated with this famous coupe. At the rear, sacrilege takes the form of taillights that look like a two-way bookshelf speaker that met the business end of a heat gun. Factor in various grades of interior panel gapping, Wal-Mart spec’d polymers and parts bin swapping with zero integration and you’re done. - SM

5. Hummer H2 The Hummer H2 is a rebodied Yukotahoburbelade that’s so damn heavy the IRS will give you a tax break because you just bought a piece of commercial farm equipment. It looks like a school bus from behind and a morbidly obese Cherokee from every other angle. It doesn't handle. Braking distances are straight from 1956. It gets less than 10mpg and takes longer than 10 seconds to reach 60. The chances that its owners will take it off-road are slimmer than the odds of Nicole Ritchie eating. Even the name sucks (literally): the H2 is a sad simulacrum of the first Gulf War winning off-road champ HUMVEE. While the H2 doesn’t come with hair plugs, it tells the world that the man behind the wheel has a small penis, or brain, or both. - JL

4. Chrysler Aspen To quote Simon and Garfunkel, every way you look at this you lose. The Chrysler Aspen is a badge engineered Dodge Durango– an Olde School SUV at a time when its competition has either gone to work at McDonald’s or headed for college. It’s ugly. It’s thirsty. It’s slow. It’s badly built. It’s cramped. It’s expensive. Chrysler is trying to flog this monstrosity as a blingmobile– which is like trying to sell cocaine as a sleep aid. Although the Aspen was an inexpensive– make that “cheap” way for the Dark Lords of DCX to expand the Chrysler brand portfolio, it’s a perfect example of the old adage “Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.” - RF

3. Buick Rendezvous Based on a 1997 minivan and introduced in 2002, the Rendezvous is a platform partner to the Chevrolet Venture, Pontiac Montana and Oldsmobile Silhouette, and a fraternal twin to the gruesome Pontiac Aztek. It’s outlasted them all, creaking along with nothing more than a few trim changes and corporate-wide mechanical updates. The ungainly Rendezvous’ ride, handling and performance are on par with… a 10-year-old minivan. In fact, the Rendezvous embodies everything that’s brought GM to the brink: penny pinching, brand dilution and chronic neglect. It’s set to be replaced by the Enclave, and not a moment too soon. - FW

2. Jeep Compass Props to DCX for trying to introduce an economical model for fans of the storied Jeep brand. A pox on their house for building the Compass. In this horror story, Dr. Frankenstein (played by the mustache-twirling Doktor Z) grafts round headlights and a seven-slot grill onto the face of a mediocre high-riding sedan (a.k.a. the Dodge Caliber). He throws the switch and an ugly, gangly, underpowered, mud-aversive half-breed staggers into the light, turning all who see it– or God forbid buy it– into grotesque, bobble-headed morons. The Compass stomps all over Jeep’s reputation as America’s purveyor of authentic off-road vehicles. It’s time to get out your pitchforks. - WCM

1. GM Minivans Talk about retro-design. Rather than simply cop styling cues from bygone classics, GM built the Chevrolet Uplander, Saturn Relay, Buick Terraza and Pontiac SV6 using 25-year-old engineering. (Though not literally true, it’s true enough.) In terms of dreadful driving dynamics, contemptible aesthetics and torturous ergonomics, no other vehicles sold in America can compete with these ridiculously-named “Crossover Sport Vans.” For their antique engineering, woeful looks, cancerous effect on not one but four GM brands and their abject inability to hold a candle to their foreign-owned competition, GM’s minivans earn The Truth About Cars’ accolade as the worst vehicles currently for sale in America.

[6'9"Witha69]

Whoever wrote that about the Monte Carlo can kiss mine. Sounds a lot like the rest of the guys at Motor Trend and all the other "America Sucks" car magazines. I think the domestic brands have come a long way in terms of stepping up quality and refinement.

It was lik ethe comparison I read a few weeks back between the MBZ 600 and the XLR. The Caddy kicked the MBZs but in ALL accelation categories. Were tied in handling. But they found piddly little differences to harp on the Caddy about and give the "win" to the MBZ. Needless to say I was not surprised that their "feelings" about the car cost the Caddy the win.

[Damn True]

I would have thought it was from MT as well, but it came from "Truth about Cars" which is even less credible.
http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/?p=2615

You gotta like the Saab 9-7x comments though, that's funny stuff.

[Steve1968LS2]

Is that like when the vette went agains the M3.. the vette spanked it every catagory but they gave the win to the M3 because it had a back seat?

lol

[ssdeuce]

If you count Saab GM products made 6 out of 10 with 1 Ford and 2 Chryslers. And they wonder why they are not making money.

[WS6]

haha the Saab 9-7 comments were great. I have to thoroughly disagree about the H2. number one, they get 13 mpg not 10. Number two and this is a double wammy. Put a magnacharger on it and it'll get 14 mpg and accellerate faster than you'd expect. Number 3, they really are damn comfortable. It's up there with the Denalis on the inside and I love Yukon Denalis

[BA.]

funny stuff to read. The Monte ain't all that bad. It's a family car for the family that needs room but doesn't have to have 4 doors. Better than the Lumina.


I didn't see the M3 vs Vette, but, I can say with some confidence and experience that for $38000 - $43000, the M3 IS better than the C5 Vette. Rear seat or not.


I'd take the Vette every time though. it's driving the correct wheels with the correct number of cylinders! The brakes and ride can be upgraded easily to match/exceed the M3. (if ya have a few grand extra)

[trapin]

Awww.....what a fetching read. Let me guess this guy's story. Ivy league graduate, loves to wear a backpack everywhere he goes. Hangs out in trendy coffee shops with his Ambercrombie And Finch friends discussing their views on politics and music. Never owned an American car in his life and never will because he bases his opinions on what others have said (who share his same life experiences and lifestyle and who have never owned one themselves). Grew up in money...parents had money...spent his adolescence in Beemers and Volkswagons.

I'm surprised he included the Japanese car. Must have killed him to do it. I'll bet he didn't sleep a wink that night.

[WS6]

I didn't see the M3 vs Vette, but, I can say with some confidence and experience that for $38000 - $43000, the M3 IS better than the C5 Vette. Rear seat or not.


I'd take the Vette every time though. it's driving the correct wheels with the correct number of cylinders! The brakes and ride can be upgraded easily to match/exceed the M3. (if ya have a few grand extra)

BMW's are rearwheel drive except for the MINI's. Only the japanese and silly americans thought FWD for the majority of their cars was a good idea.