Prayers for Mom please

[Off Duty]

I just got word last night, that my natural mother has cancer:(
We're not sure yet what type, stage or much else, but should have more info on Monday evening.

She's in Douglas, Ga., and I'm in Tampa!
I can't be there to look after her and help her like I want/should, and her husband, an advanced early stage Alzheimers patient, is not going to be much help I'm afraid.

The story behind the "natural" part:

I was adopted at birth.
Mom was too young, but chose to go through with the birth instead of the alternatives.
She is my adopted dad's niece, so throughout the pregnancy, she stayed with he and my adopted mom.
My "adopted" mom could not have children after a previous miscarriage and was more than willing to help out.

They were the only parent's I've ever known.
They raised me, cared for me, taught me right from wrong, sacrificed for me, and will always be "my parents" regardless.

At the hospital all of the paperwork (at the time you could get away with this) reflected a "natural birth" to my adopted parents.

I was in my early/mid 20's before I ever found out otherwise.
It was after I lost my "mom" to cancer and heart disease (R.I.P. Mom), and my aunt who couldn't keep a secret if her lips were sewn shut, let it slip to my wife.

It was at that point that it all became crystal clear.

Why the relatives always made and appearance around my birthday and the holidays.
Why this one "cousin" kept closer tabs on me than the others.



Even then, after finding out I made no real effort to make contact with my "birth mother."
I was selfish!
I always felt as though, if she'd wanted me to know, she'd have said something!

Besides, it would have hurt my adopted dad to know that I knew, and I refused to allow that to happen!
She even made a suggestion to my wife once that she was going to tell my dad that I knew.
Believe me, I made it specifically clear what I'd do if she tried!

I/we kept it to ourselves until he passed at 93.
For the last 6 + years, he lived with us and still, he never knew we knew.
R.I.P. dad. You were the best!

After his passing, I made contact with "mom" and we talked, but no other contact. Even that was sporadic.

We've continued the dialogue and have actually made a couple trips up to Douglas, Ga. to see her and introduce her to her great grand baby, something she never thought she's see.

She recently came to Florida.
She's always wanted to go to Sea World, so I took the day off, bought the tickets, and took everyone to See Shamu.

As luck would have it, that day they were paying some sort of tribute to all veterans, and asked everyone who had served, to please stand.

I can't tell you the look on her face. The pride I saw in her eyes.
Combined with the audience's response, some "thank you's and pat's on the shoulder from total strangers sitting around us, it was all I could do to hold it together.

That simple day, seemed to be the highlight of an otherwise mundane existence, and I realized I needed to do more.

When we sent them off the next day, I hugged her, called her "mom" and told her I loved her.
I told her that I understood, and thanked her for giving me the life I was blessed with.

We've talked more in the last few months, than we have in 55 years.
Now, I find out this and frankly, I'm pissed!
I know I don't have the "right" but it doesn't stop the feelings.

And I apologize for the length of this post.
I'm just venting, trying to deal with this and well, asking for your thoughts and prayers for my mom.

As I said, I can't get up there to stay with her and see about her as I could if she were here in Tampa.
I'm waiting to find out more, and will update as I know.

I've been thinking about Moffitt here in Tampa.
we've got a full house with the grand living on board, but I can try to make room for her and her husband, here or maybe put her up in one of the nearby hotels.
Moffitt is a great cancer institute, and maybe they can help?

Right now, my mind is racing.
I just needed to vent, then slow down, wait until we know more and approach it with a plan.
Just like we handled high risk assignments.
That's much easier said than done when it's personal.

Please understand, that I'm not one to cover the internet with a lot of personal drama.

Until now, only a few close friends and family members know "the rest of the story."

I've laid it on the line here, simply because of the quality of the people I've ran into, interacted with and observed here.
You guys and gals seem to go out of your way to help even total strangers.
You are all true top flight folks!

This will appear on a couple other sites for the same reason, friends and quality people.

My personal muscle car website, a landcruiser site I've been on for years, and pro-Nasty Z28, again due to the quality people and relationships I've built on each of those sites.

I know I'm a relative newbie here, but you folks have seemed to accept me for better or worse, as my preacher says' "warts and all", which gave me the comfort level needed to share this story and ask for your support.

So if you don't mind, your thoughts and prayers for my mom in Ga. would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Gordon

[toxicz28]

Sorry to hear. Cancer is a tough one, especially with the unknowns you are currently dealing with. Be strong!

[toxicz28]

As a side note, be mindful of what she wants, as far as treatments, etc. It is very easy to get caught up in what you want, and what you feel you need to do for her, that she gets lost in the whole ordeal. Talk with her, ask her her wishes, and respect them. Now matter how much you may disagree with them.

[MIGOAT]

You, your family and Mom are being prayed for. As for your venting it's healthy. Don't worry about what others may think and continue to do what you can. God has a plan for everyone.

[The Stickman]

Gordon that was a very moving post. No need to apologize for it's length. Prayers are easy to give, so consider it done. I am hoping things work out well. My mother has been thru more than her fair share of illness with heart attacks, surgery, and cancer so I understand. BTW thank you for your service. That as always is greatly appreciated.

[trapin]

Gordan, that is a very moving story.

We have a similar scenario in our family. My cousin Mandy adopted my sister-in-law's little girl when she was born. Kind of a different situation however. This was the fourth child she had had since 14 years of age (yeah, no kidding). She is a mess (drugs, trouble with the law) and didn't want a fourth child. My cousin Mandy stepped in and adopted her (since she can't have kids). She is only 4 now but when she's old enough to understand she will be brought up to speed on everything. So in a way Charly (the little girl) will always have some kind of access to her birth mother; although we're hoping it's limited (like I said...she's a mess).

So I have a little familiarity with your situation and understand what you must be going through.

Much hope and prayers for your biological Mom. We'll be thinking about her.

[John Wright]

Prayers sent from Virginia.

[68KMARO]

Sorry to hear what you are going through. My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer two years ago. She is fighting this everyday. Positive thoughts and prayers are on the way. More than that read up as much as possible about the type of cancer and its treatments. knowledge is so important so that you can ask the right questions. if you have any questions that i could help with let me know.

rich

[Patrick]

Done!

[Off Duty]

My heartfelt thank you to everyone.
The only thing we know now, is that she has stomach cancer.
The stages, if it's spread, and all the other details are yet to be determined. She see's the oncologist on Wednesday and is starting on chemo asap.

That's all we know for now.

As a side note, be mindful of what she wants, as far as treatments, etc. It is very easy to get caught up in what you want, and what you feel you need to do for her, that she gets lost in the whole ordeal. Talk with her, ask her her wishes, and respect them. Now matter how much you may disagree with them.

Of course you're absolutely correct. It's definitely going to be her decisions on this. I just want to be there for her as much as I can.
Her father passed from Cancer, and she's mentioned already that if the treatments won't give her a fighting chance, and only a dew weeks or months, then she's not going to do it.
She wan't quality over quantity of life.

Gordan, that is a very moving story.

We have a similar scenario in our family. My cousin Mandy adopted my sister-in-law's little girl when she was born. Kind of a different situation however. This was the fourth child she had had since 14 years of age (yeah, no kidding). She is a mess (drugs, trouble with the law) and didn't want a fourth child. My cousin Mandy stepped in and adopted her (since she can't have kids). She is only 4 now but when she's old enough to understand she will be brought up to speed on everything. So in a way Charly (the little girl) will always have some kind of access to her birth mother; although we're hoping it's limited (like I said...she's a mess).

So I have a little familiarity with your situation and understand what you must be going through.

Much hope and prayers for your biological Mom. We'll be thinking about her.

Thank you.
Yes, please make sure she knows younger rather than older.
I never really understood why my parent's never told me, but I'm sure they had their reasons.

Take care of the precious little angle. We have our 5 year old granddaughter who has been living with us since birth, along with my daughter.
They sure know how to make your day when things are bad

Sorry to hear what you are going through. My wife was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer two years ago. She is fighting this everyday. Positive thoughts and prayers are on the way. More than that read up as much as possible about the type of cancer and its treatments. knowledge is so important so that you can ask the right questions. if you have any questions that i could help with let me know.

rich

Rich,
Thanks for the offer my friend.

I'll definitely be reading up on the cures and treatments available. We have Moffitt here in Tampa, and we (my wife and I) have a good friend who works there. She and my wife are both RN's.
I'm sure we'll be bending her ear as well.

Our family will be praying for you and your wife as well.

Gordon

[piratebaseball]

Prayers sent for you and your mom during this time!

[showa]

Your family is in our prayers....
Check out www.alkaline-alkaline.com/ph_food_chart.html
Encourage a low acid diet to help recovery/ fight cancer.... Cancer can't grow in a body with a base ph....

[Off Duty]

Your family is in our prayers....
Check out www.alkaline-alkaline.com/ph_food_chart.html
Encourage a low acid diet to help recovery/ fight cancer.... Cancer can't grow in a body with a base ph....

Thanks,
I'll check it out.

[tony69]

my prayers and hope go out to you and your mom.....................
faith in god will help all...
tony

[Munster]

Prayers and hope to you and your loved ones

[killer67]

Don't be pissed off Gordon.....It's amazing how you developed a strong relationship with your natural mother that may not have otherwise happened. Hope she finds good care and you will be in our thoughts

[Off Duty]

UPDATE- Wasn't much to report the last several weeks.
She's been in and out of the doctors office and hospital.

They started chemo on Thursday, she had a reaction to it and was back in the hospital the next day.
Her kidneys started bleeding and shutting down, her heart has stopped at least once that I know of, and she's now in ICU in pretty bad shape.

She has diabetes and a bad heart to begin with, and the chemo just ravaged her body from jump.

If she makes it through the night, her sisters and husband will be at the hospital 1st light tomorrow (Thursday) to sign the DNR, as that was her request.

Prayers please, but it's in God's hands now.

Thanks,

Gordon

[The Stickman]

This is tough to even read. I can not imagine what you are going thru. But it is in Gods hands. And we have to acccept that he knows best, as tough as that is sometimes. You, your mom and your family are in our prayers.

[johnny68]

Hey Gordon our prayers are with you,your family and of course mom, but as hard as it is remember she'll be in a much better place pain free,i lost my mom to pancreatic cancer 17 years ago ( quick story sorry,she always wanted to be buried in Mass. with her parents we lived in san diego. my grandmother on dads side wasnt doing good, in Mass. also.. my mom and dad went back there for my grandmother, i talked to my mom on phone i could tell somethings not right she said shes great(im the baby of the family and BIG MAMAS BOY) anyway 2 days later i was on plane to Mass from SD and 1 day later my Mom died and my Grandmother died the day after, when my mom left docs.said she was tip top (well as tip top as she could be ) she was buried with her parents as she always wanted
i appologies for my length of story just know god has everything happen for a reason she'll be in a much happier place,, ill light a candle at church
John

[ndians68]

prayers are being sent your way, to all of you that have post in this about a loved one passing from cancer or other things, it is hard, i lost my grandma when i was 4 months old to cancer, now my great great aunt has it, its a hard thing, my aunt thankfully got over it, but just this past weekend we lost one of my 2nd cousins, its scary, and also thank you for your service!