Just a funny:

[muthstryker]

your moms so fat her blood type is ragu.

[toxicz28]

Oh yeah, well your mom's so fat her belt size is equator!

[muthstryker]

last time i heard that monica lewinsky and mr clinton where gettin it on in the oval office! your mom is so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions.

[Bob Johnson]

you know why Hitler committed suicide? he got his gas bill

[WS6]

oh man that's bad yet oh so funny.

[Bob Johnson]

oh man that's bad yet oh so funny.

There's a second part to it but it adds insult to injury

[Bob Johnson]

your mamas so fat..I have to get on top..gives me a nose bleed

[Bob Johnson]

I ain't saying Howells girlfriend is country,, but she's been wearing flour sack drawers so long he says her nookie tastes like dumplins..

[muthstryker]

your mommas so black she has to get her tattos in chalk! (im not racist at all)

[toxicz28]

yo momma's afro so big, when she in da car, it looks like da windoz is tinted

[Bob Johnson]

your mamas so short you can see her tennis shoes in her drivers license pix

[Bob Johnson]

your mamas lips are so big she can whisper in her own ear

[Bob Johnson]

your mama has so much hair in her arm pit she looks like she has buckwheat in a headlock

[Damn True]

Memo to all Depts

In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.
Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a
soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge
erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

[Radlark]

So this Koala bear is walking down the street and he decides to pick up a prostitue.....so he picks her up and takes her back to the hotel and he starts goind down on her getting her off the whole nine.

So he is done doing his job he begins to walk towards the front door, and she says "hey wheres my money I'm a prostitute?", and he says "what's a prostitute?"

So she hands him a dictionary and says "here look it up" sure enough he looks it up and it reads......Prostitute- performs sexual acts for money. so he hands the dictionary back to her and starts back towards the front door.

She screams "HEY WHERE'S MY F**KIN MONEY" he says to her "hey lady what do you want from I'm a f'**kin Koala bear"

She says "what the hell does that have to do with u paying me my money" he goes "you got the dictionary look it up"

Sure enough she looks it up and it says KOALA BEAR - EATS BUSHES & LEAVES!!!

[WS6]

Wait wasn't the Koala bear one on one of the previous pages? Doesn't matter, still funny.

[shmoov69]

A dedicated Teamsters union worker was attending a convention in Las Vegas and decided to check out the local brothels. When he got to the first one, he asked the Madam, "Is this a union house?"

"No," she replied, "I'm sorry it isn't."

"Well, if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?"

"The house gets $80 and the girls get $20," she answered.

Offended at such unfair dealings, the union man stomped off down the street in search of a more equitable, hopefully unionized shop. His search continued until finally he reached a brothel where the Madam responded, "Why yes sir, this is a union house. We observe all union rules."

The man asked, "And if I pay you $100, what cut do the girls get?" "The girls get $80 and the house gets $20."

"That's more like it!" the union man said.

He handed the Madam $100, looked around the room, and pointed to a stunningly attractive blonde.

"I'd like her," he said.

"I'm sure you would, sir," said the Madam. Then she gestured to a 92-year old woman in the corner, "but Ethel here has 67 years seniority and according to union rules, she's next."

[Damn True]

Dude, that was funny!

Check this out:


A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:

"Listen,this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain .. do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"

[muthstryker]

psst already posted that one :P

[JoshStratton]

An eskimo was riding his snow mobile one day and it started acting funny. He took it into the shop and the mechanic said, 'Go have lunch. When you come back, I should be able to tell you what was wrong'.

So the eskimo leaves and comes back an hour later. The mechanic says, 'It looks like you've blown a seal'.

The eskimo, wipes his mouth and says 'Nope. That was just mayonaise'.

I know, it's a dumb one.