Saying goodbye to a friend...

[Steve1968LS2]

Some of you might remember my thread about our sick whippet Athena. She’s been a member of our family for the last 10 years and while it may sound cliché she’s best damn dog I’ve ever been around. When I worked at home she was with me all day long and would even get to go on sales calls with me. She always seemed extra smart and aware of things, much more so than our other dogs. She was special. Sure, she would steal food off the counter and get in trouble, but then again.. don't we all?



But cancer came and our pooch, who was once lightning fast and full of life is fading away. She still wags her tail when she sees us, but she mostly rests. Her back leg is failing her and it drags when she walks. Starting yesterday she will hardly eat.

The radiation and chemo treatments did give her a month of feeling pretty darn good. We went to the park, played in the backyard, fed Athena her favorite “human food” and let her get to know our new puppy. It was nice and well worth every dollar, but the cold reality of life is looming.

How do you decide when to end the life of a family member?

I mean, seriously… Do you say “Friday will be your last day, this will be your last morning, your last ray of sunshine and here’s your last meal..” ?

Every day we wonder if she will eat, if she will perk up or if she will slip farther away. You don’t want to put her down too soon, but you don’t want to have her suffer needlessly because you’re too afraid to do the right thing. You wake up each morning and expect the dog you knew to jump up and greet you, but she lays in bed and then you remember and sadness washes over you. Some would say “It’s just a dog” and while I know this isn’t the same as a human it doesn’t make it any easier at all. It’s a life that looks at you like you’re a god, like you can do no wrong. A family member that sees you as their protector, their provider.

But she’s always been there for us, like most dogs she never complained when we came home late or when she wasn’t feeling well. That’s more of a human trait. She was always loyal and giving. She is my friend and I will miss her so much, but I am a better human for having had her around.

If she doesn’t eat in the next 24 hours we will not let her suffer. But, even if she does eat the time to let her sleep will come soon, far too soon. We’ve talked to our vet who has offered to come to our house to put her down. She will lie in her favorite bed and get a small shot that will relax her and put her to sleep over the course of 5 minutes. Then she will get the other shot stopping her heart and ending her discomfort. The hard part will be for us to be strong and not show sadness until she’s gone. Dogs are perceptive and there will be time for grief afterwards. The vet will transport Athena to a pet cemetery where she will get a private cremation. Her ashes will be returned to us, and they will even do a paw print in a casting for us. Maybe we will spread them at her favorite park or get an urn. It’s not terribly important since our bodies are just vessels for what we are and what she will be at that point is memory that we will never forget.

It’s been tough and it helps to type this out since talking about it generally causes me to get all wet eyed. I want to thank all of you that posted in the other thread; it means a lot. Thanks.

Athena, best damn dog around:

[perry mitchell]

I can't add to that. I have been there Steve and I feel for you.

[newbaa]

That's really sad to hear, but i know how you feel. We have had to put down my cat and our dog.
My cat, Toodles, was acting pretty normal until a few days before we had to put her down, but one day she just wasn't breathing well at all, so we took her in to the vet. After the vet listened to her (and maybe x-rays - i don't remember) she told us that she had fluid build-up in her lungs. It could be removed, but it would just come back again and again... It was a spur of the moment decision but I decided that I didn't want to prolong her suffering or make her have to go through that same situation multiple times. So I held her in my arms as the vet gave her an injection.
That day really sucked, but I believe i acted in her best interests.
Our dog Taffy was a Saint Bernard/Great White Pyrenees mix and we knew she was getting old (11 or 12 i think) and she was slowing down, but one day we had a horrible windstorm with TONS of dust blowing around when we realized that she couldn't breathe and that her tongue was turning purple. Again, we took her in to the vet and had her put to sleep.

Toodles:


Taffy:

[Taylor1969]

My dog holds a very special place in my heart. Humans definitely get more than they give to their dogs. I know exactly how you feel - we had to put down a dog a couple of years ago because of cancer and I still tear up when I think of him. Just know that Athena has loved every minute of her life and if it is her time, she knows - dogs are much stronger than us when it comes to that.

You may want to read this book: http://www.amazon.com/Rescuing-Sprit...0295813&sr=8-2
Mark Levin wrote it after losing his dog

[Bill Howell]

I know this is tough Steve, been there/done that. Actually that is why we don't have animals now, the pain is tough when you have to say goodbye. However, she is really suffering now and prolonging it is not good for anyone or her. Besides, you would hate for your wife to have to deal with this alone next week while you are gone. I strongly suggest you spend the evening with her tonight and then make the call in the morning. No reason for the poor thing to suffer any more. God's speed Athena!

[ProdigyCustoms]

I posted on the other board, was not sure which you are reading

Steve, I had to do it a couple years ago with a 14 year old Chow. One of the hardest things I ever had to do. But she was a mess, blind, skin problems, bleeding sores from chewing her self. Problem with her was she wanted to live, and was eating until her last day. She had a ribeye steak the night before we took "the ride". Your stronger then me if you can watch all this, I had to hand her off to the vet, just could not handle it.

Only thing I can tell you is once it was over the pain was gone for her and the family. A different pain was there but it went away pretty soon. Then I hear this, type this, and tear up a bit!

I am really sorry man. You will know when it is time.

[bwhinnen]

Steve this is heartbreaking to say the least. I really admire your strength in all this, and cannot imagine how I would make the same decision about one of our dogs, specially the 'old man' as we call him who is 8 this year and a little rascal!

My deepest support to you and your family and Athena, you will know the right time and know it is the right thing to do.

Here's to Athena, and all other best friends we've had or will have!

[Larry Callahan]

Steven, our hearts goes out to you and your wife. Susan and I lost a couple of cats recently and it was very tough. We don't have kids but they really were Susan's babies.

It is a difficult decision but you will know when it's time.

[deuce]

steve it totally sucks . my rotti has become diabettic and now blind at first she had siezures and we didnt know what was wrong and she almost died ..but now she is medicated and doing well at 8 years old . but ill tell you i went threw a few months of hell with this , my heart goes out to your family . dogs are great , and im so sorry to hear about your pup ...

[dropit69]

wow that sucks to here Steve..my thoughts go out to you and your wife ..ive had my American Eskimo for 11 years now and hope i have lots of time left with her..

[rickk]

steve hope all is well. thanks for sharing with us.
rick k

[CarlC]

Steve, as much as we all hope that a miracle is going to happen, or that we may be able to squeeze in a few more good days, at some point in time we have to say enough. I too had a very similar situation with my first dog, and stayed with him during both shots. I've been with very close family members at the end, and the dog was the hardest one because of thier dependance, unconditional love, and the decision. After many years I'm glad I did not wait longer and regret making him suffer more for my own benefit.

That is very generous and dignified way to say goodbye to a family member.

[mburrow]

Steve, sorry to hear about this story. As some have said, been there,done that. It is a sad time. My first wife and I had beagles, Sam and Snoopy. They lived to be 15 and 16. We had no children. You will know when it is time. I carried Sam to the vets office at 3:30 am and he gave me a few minutes alone and all I can say is it was a special time and will be remembered always. Our prayers are with you for peace in the family as you move forward. Love ya even though I haven't met ya! mburrow

[buickfunnycar.com]

I feel for you Steve and like others have said...been there/done that...and will probably go through it many more times in my lifetime.
The sad part is they just don't live as long as we do...but they bring you so much love and affection I just could not be without my pets even though I know the day is coming for each of them.

My heart goes out to you but know full well that you did the right thing.They cannot tell us how they feel and just knowing they might be in pain wouldn't be fair to Athena.

You'll know when the time is right to find a replacement...but you'll never forget her.

Best of luck to you...

[Steve1968LS2]

We tried feeding her tonight, she ate a tiny bit but she's just not well. Her tail barely wags and she's limping. Called the vet and she is coming tomorrow at 7:20pm... :(

My wife is a wreck and we are both crying already. Jennifer kept wanting to put it off a day, but we need to do what's best for Athena.

I will say this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Ever...

From a couple of years ago when she was in her prime.. damn she was fast...

[MrQuick]

Thats tough Steve, condolences to you and the wife. Just try to remember the happy times you guys spent together.


I don't know what I would do if my babies where in the same situation. Don't want to think about it.

[TonyHuntimer]

Sorry to hear that Steve. That's never easy.

I almost had to put my buddy down a couple of years ago. I'm not looking forward to the day when it comes back in the future. We don't have kids, so he is like one of our kids.

Take care,
Tony~

[Steve1968LS2]

Thats tough Steve, condolences to you and the wife. Just try to remember the happy times you guys spent together.


I don't know what I would do if my babies where in the same situation. Don't want to think about it.

Cute pups Tony.. Like I said.. dogs give far more than they end up costing emotionally.

[eville]

My thoughts and condolences go out to you, your wife and your dogs Steve. It will take time to heal from this loss.

[TonyL]

My heart goes out to you Steve. There's no harder thing than making that decision. I've had the misfortune myself. It's a pain that never quite goes away, I'm sad to say.

This is Ramo giving me the "you expect me to pee WHERE?" look. He'd never seen snow before.

Cancer took him from us a little over two years ago.