Old Folk Sayings

[BonzoHansen]

Horse? I always heard DOG.

Either way I might think the outcome is the same. LOL

[shmoov69]

My cousin always said...
*You just think that you are hot snot on a silver platter, but you're just a cold booger on a paper plate
*Hornier than a 3 peckered billy goat
*she is tougher than a 3 dollar steak > about a "rough" woman

[trapin]

My Dad always says, "If I had known there were going to be this many stupid people in the world, I'd have found a way to make money off of em."

[BMF Machine]

Slipperier than snot on a door knob.
Sticks like s**t on a wool blanket.
Take a long walk on a short peer.
Walk east/west 'till your hat floats.
As useless as a screen door on a submarine.
Hornier than a three peckered tree toad in a virgin forest.
The real McCoy. (has something to do with oiling cups)

Ken

The real Mccoy; I was just at the science museum in Indianapolis a few months back. I always heard it but never knew what it came from.

Well, there was a black man who was an engineer probably late 1880's or so; Elijah Mccoy, He developed the automatic oilers for Train wheels and stuff. They used to have to stop the train and grease everything, He invented the pump type oilers so it could be done while the train was moving.

Like the pump oilers on bridgeport mills or the automatic way lubers on HAAS CnC's. They are all direct desendents of the "Real Mccoy".

[Van B]

Similar to the one stated earlier, I have always heard that something was locked up "tighter than a bull's a$$ in a hailstorm."

Can't believe no one has mentioned this one, "beats a sharp stick in the eye."

or when things are good, you are "standin in high cotton."

[eville]

- Dumber than owl *****
- Like socks on a chicken
- Fine as frog hair
- Harder than a whores heart
- I'd rather jack off a tiger in a phone booth with a hand full of tacks....
- Is a pig's @ss pork?

[Kenova]

- I'd rather jack off a tiger in a phone booth with a hand full of tacks....

Ken

[eville]

- time to **** or get of the pot

[CTravis]

When it was supper time my grandfather would say, "I'm as hungry as a woodpecker with a headache"

[rohrt]

"like trying to pick up BBs with boxing gloves"
"as worthless as tits on a boar"
"Use your head for more then a hat rack"

My gramps would would always tell me when I was swinging a hammer, "If I cant hit the nail your pecker still growing"

The one I heard the most often was "just don't stand their with your fingers up you A--...."

[Happyfunballs]

Ones I hear all the time:
-"You can't teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig."
-"Quit pickin the fly shyte outta the pepper."
-"If I tell ya a squirrel can plow a field, ya better hitch 'em up."(meaning, listen to what I say as I'm always right)
-derivitive of above:"If I tell you it's Christmas, you better hang up your (explitive omitted) stocking, cause Santie Claus is'a comin."
-"You gonna stand around all day with 9 fingers showin?"(I'll let you figure out where he thinks the other one is)

[steemin]

That would gag a maggot off a gut wagon.
Raining like a cow pissin on a flat rock.
Harder than Kelseys nuts.
Chasing baby rabbits and barking at the moon.
If you had a brain you'd be dangerous.

And finally how many of you remember sofas or couches called "DAVENPORTS"?

Scott

[shmoov69]

*If you had brains you would take them out and play with them
*You must be talking out your a$$, because your mouth knows better
*you are more full of ***** than a christmas turkey
*drunker than Cooter Brown (Dunno who that is!)
*you must have a bad case of HNA syndrome (Head in A$$)

[Kenova]

"If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose."
"it's cold enough to freeze the balls off of a brass monkey" or on a cold day - "it's not a good day for brass monkeys"
"useless as tits on a hen"

Ken

[BonzoHansen]

"useless as tits on a hen"

Or "...on a nun"

[a62belair]

F**K an 'A'
Older friend of mine... for all is great!

[6'9"Witha69]

F**K an 'A'
Older friend of mine... for all is great!

The classic response:
"F&*k a 'B', it has 2 holes"