Funny Jury Duty Story

[6'9"Witha69]

I reported for Jury duty on Monday. During the orientation in the assembly room, a judge came in to welcome us thank us for our service. He told us a story about a case he had tried in the past. It went something like this:

There was a juror in this trial who had a High School education. It seems the best thing he learned while there was how to sleep with his eyes open. The case was about an assault/rape. The weapon used was an old tuna can and the serrated lid was brandished as a weapon. During the victim's testimony, she broke down and was unable to answer the questions about the dialogue between her and the accused. She said she could not bear to repaet nor hear the words again. After a sidebar it was agreed that the victim could write down the words and it would be passed around to the jury. The phrase was something to the affect of "I'm gonna f!@# you till you scream b&*^%". As the note was being passed around the jury box, the woman to the side of this juror read the note and passed it to the man. When he did not take it, she nudged him and he awoke. He took the paper, read it, put it in his pocket while smiling, turned to the female juror and gave her the OK signal with his hand.

The way the judge told the story was too funny for words and regardless of how much everyone in the room may have lamented (to some degree) being there for jury duty, all were laughing.

Thought I would share and see if anyone else ahs a funny jury duty story to share.

[Chad-1stGen]

Not nearly as funny...

However, the only time I was close to sitting on a Jury we were at the stage where they actually told us a breif fact pattern on the case that we would be on. Well it turns out that an ex-BF was suing his former GF for tripping and falling down the stairs at her back door and supposedly injuring himself. The kicker is that while they were dating HE was the one who built the stairs!

I told the judge that no matter what I heard in the case I could not render an impartial opinion as the case was clearly frivalous. I was dissmissed.

[wantahertzdonut]

My jury duty week was like a week's vacation. I never really had to do anything and never got to be interviewed. I was called for several juries but for the most part, the case was dismissed, settled, or in one case they declared a mistrial before the end of the interviews because someone in the jury spoke to the press (no idea how that happened)

I sure did enjoy catching up on my sleep that week!

[Boulder69]

I have never had a job that really allowed for jury duty, so to avoid large income losses I needed out. Here is how I have been dismissed 3 times without ever having to actually serve. The first chance I get, I simply state the following:

"If he/she had not committed the crime of <insert crime here>, the police would not have arrested them."

"Thank you very much for your time today, you are free to go." the judge/DA/attorney will all say in unison.

[Madspeed]

[quote=Boulder69]I have never had a job that really allowed for jury duty, so to avoid large income losses I needed out. Here is how I have been dismissed 3 times without ever having to actually serve. The first chance I get, I simply state the following:

"If he/she had not committed the crime of <insert crime here>, the police would not have arrested them."




And if you were REALLY slick You would just throw the jury summons in the trash and never be bothered.

They have ABSOLUTLY NO WAY to be sure you actually recieved the letter untill you Reply in one way or another.

I have been throwing them away for over 6 years now and I have never been arrested for it or called upon because of it =)

[nancejd]

The other thing you can tell the judge is that you can't follow their instructions in good conscience. I told them I would make up my own mind whether or not to consider evidence regardless of what they said. Out I went....