Welcome to Christmas Past

[Larry Callahan]

For those of you new to the site I wanted to bring back a little history. A few years ago our own Ralph LoGrasso wrote this for the site and I saved it. I hope he doesn't kill me for posting it again.

Pro-Touring Holiday Anthem

by Ralph LoGrasso

‘Twas the night before the holidays, when all through the shop

Not a gear synchro was spinning, not even a prop.

The tubular upper control arms were hung on the sub-frame with care

In hopes of carving corners everywhere.

The drivers were strapped all snug in their seats,

While visions of victory lane, aroused their feet

And Steevo in streetfighter, and I in Fantom

Revving our engines, to this glorious anthem

When out on the road course, there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my seat, to see what was the matter,

Away to the course, I drove like a demon

I tore up the 335’s with my engine screaming

The smoke coming abreast from freshly burnt tires

Gave the spark needed, from the ignition wires

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a twin turbo camaro, with a leaf sprung rear

With a wise old driver, driving for the thrill

I knew it must be Larry, driving project over kill

More radical than pro-tourers, his g-machines they came,

And he whistled and shouted, and called them by name;

Now, II Much! Now, GatTagO! Now, The Mule! And 50/50

On, G-spot! On, Blade! On F-117 and Extreme-G!

Through the chicane, hugging the wall

Now drive away! Drive away! Drive away all!

As the rear end gives out, and the door sticks with a slam

Each pro-tourer, helps his fellow man

So up to the straightaway, the drivers they flew,

With a caravan full of V8s and turbos too

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the road

The roar of a camaro, it must be twin turboed

As I shifted a gear, and was turning around

Down the straight, Larry came with a bound.

He was dressed all in kevlar, from his head to his feet

His five-point harness strapped him into his Sparco seat

A bundle of tools, he had flung on his back

He looked like a mechanic, opening his pack

His turbos – how they spooled! His twisted vistas how merry!

His engine was perfection, his car red like a cherry!

His Alcons stopped the car on a dime.

The vintage air, cooled him down from time to time.

The ball of a shifter, he held tight in his hand

Whilst jamming to the tunes of conekiller’s band

A killer stance, his car had, it was just plain mean

Perfect was the tuning, not too rich, not too lean

As he got out of the car, it sat low and straight

I cringed when I saw him; it must have been fate.

A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to work,

Plumbing Scott’s turbos with the help of perk.

Finishing up, whilst polishing the nose,

Up from the engine bay, Larry arose.

He sprang to his camaro, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!”

[Ralph LoGrasso]

LOL!!!! Oh man, I was like 16 when I wrote this. The site was MUCH smaller back then, too. Such memories, and such bad writing! I wonder if anyone remembers what incident this speaks of:

"As the rear end gives out, and the door sticks with a slam
Each pro-tourer, helps his fellow man
So up to the straightaway, the drivers they flew,
With a caravan full of V8s and turbos too"

[Larry Callahan]

Sorry Ralph. I had to bump this. LOL!

[Fawkes]

One of my favorite renditions, for sure.

[parsonsj]

I wonder if anyone remembers what incident this speaks of

I do. As a hint to others ... I was there.

jp

[bucks69]

Here is some ricer christmas off of Camaro.net

"Twas the night before Christmas and caught at the light,
Was a Supercharged Camaro and no cops in sight,
I will try, I will try, I will try with this 2 liter motor,
To beat this damn Camaro, even with it's big blower.

As light goes to green and I pull like no joke,
The Camaro erupts in clouds of tire smoke.
Now Smasher, now Rev-ver, now Stroker, now Blitzin,
These are the names of my four VTEC pistons.

Racing ahead I'm the Star of the action,
But I know I'm in trouble when that blown Camaro gets traction.
Grabbing second, I hear the RPM sing,
My rearview mirror is blocked by my Shopping Kart Wing.

I now hear the roar, of that big monster gaining.
All I can do is keep that four-banger straining.
In a second, the shockwave hits with a blast,
And my stickers go flying, now a thing of the past.

Don't bother with third, 'cause now it's too late,
Just try to act cool, like you can relate.


Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,
The driver backs off just to give me a holler,
"You can't win them all," he says in fling,
"You may not win any in that silly thing,"


I scowled and I revved and let out a sigh,
& did my classic trademark high speed fly-by,
Then I smiled and revved as I pulled out of sight,
With my new mods tomorrow, it will be a better night."

[trapin]

Gosh....I'm all glassy-eyed now.

LOL!!!! Oh man, I was like 16 when I wrote this.

Wow....I can't believe it's been a year already.






Hee-hee....Sorry Ralph. I gotta get my "youngster jokes" in while you're still young enough.

[StRacerDuke]

Ha! I remember that! This place has come a long way since then eh Ralph?

[shmoov69]

What happend to Ralph?

[sunkistcamaro]

Wow does that bring back memories!
Larry, How long have you had this board open?
I've been around since the previous version.

[Smock67]

That was good. So what happened as the rear end gave out?

[Bill Howell]

I do. As a hint to others ... I was there.

jp

It was covered in a magazine too right? It was before my time here, but I do remember reading about it.

[derekf]

I believe I remember, although I wasn't there. Was it a red car?

[Ralph LoGrasso]

Gosh....I'm all glassy-eyed now.


Wow....I can't believe it's been a year already.






Hee-hee....Sorry Ralph. I gotta get my "youngster jokes" in while you're still young enough.

Haha, no worries. I'm going to be 22 soon and lemme tell ya--I already wish I were 16 again.

[Ralph LoGrasso]

Ha! I remember that! This place has come a long way since then eh Ralph?

It certainly has. I believe we had around 800 registered members on the old ezboard when I wrote that. Out of the 800, I would bet only 50 or so were regular users. 10,000 now. Wow.

What happend to Ralph?

I'm here. LOL

[Ralph LoGrasso]

I believe I remember, although I wasn't there. Was it a red car?

I believe it was; I actually had to take a moment to recall what incident the text referenced. Time sure does fly.

For those still wondering, it was Andrew's GTO at the Car Craft RSE competition. 2003 I believe?

[Fawkes]

Are we talking about this ?

[trapin]

Ahh yes. Fond memories. I wasn't there, but still fond memories.

[Larry Callahan]

Are we talking about this ?

Nice find!

Gotta love the choice of shirts too. LOL!

[Fawkes]

Gotta love the choice of shirts too. LOL!

It's the PT pit crew.