Inlaws coming tomorrow... Need help with gross Brother in-law

[LowBuckX]

How do I keep my brother inlaw from do gross things with out making a scene.. Small list of his infractions.

1) I made a batch of homemade BBQ sauce to which he stuck his big dirty finger into 3 knuckles deep to taste it. (I dumped it all out and made them all eat open pit)

2) I had a fresh bottle of rum on my fridge that he opened and tipped it up and back washed in it...

3) Did ^same with a bottle of Stoli Vanil

4) farted on my 18 month old... (we had words)

5) on thanksgiving he put his hands on top or the green been caserol and took a handfull of the fried onions off and ate them. Also dipped his fingers in a coconut cream pie then did not even take the slice he fingered.

6) helps himself to anything in fridge. Which is what scares me for tomorrow because my wifes parents and brother are coming tomorrow morrning and my parents and brother are coming for dinner so there will be alot of food in fridge..


He is a 6foot6inch 500 pound(that he admits too) oaf and was not raised that way. And his hog wife is pregnant and still smokes... (not in my house)


Now how to stop with out causeing ripples...

[Z06killinSBF]

Wow...... ummm do you have a Motel 6 near by?

[LowBuckX]

Wow...... ummm do you have a Motel 6 near by?

For me or him.

[Vegas69]

Ya....don't invite them next year.:doh:

[monza]

lol sorry and good luck....

[megaladon6]

well if theres a swamp handy.....:machine:

[NovaPwr]

heheheh....I have no answers but can't wait to read how it all turns out! Merry Christmas ; )

[Young Gun]

tell him sorry but if he does not change his actions then he is no longer welcome in your house. tell him you dont want an adult acting in the same manner that he is around you child because you dont want to have your child look at that and see that it is ok to act in that manner.

[absintheisfun]

Misery loves company???

My In-Laws came over last weekend for our Christmas--

Very drunk...VERY VERY DRUNK they both became

Mother in law--Talked nasty about her son (he wasn't even there to defend himself)
Smoked in my house, and denied it!--this really pissed me off
Fed my dogs from the table (after I repeatedly asked her not too because they would get sick on our carpet)
Spilled beer and wine on the carpet we had cleaned two days ago.

Truth be told, when I'm getting trashed (drunk), they are a blast to be around...when I'm sober, they are about the most annoying thing in the world! Well, I take that back. My Father in Law is a really good guy (drunk and sober)...My Mother in Law is not.

My advice: Get the slobs mother on your side. I don't know of anyone who will cross their own Mom.

[bucks69]

tell him sorry but if he does not change his actions then he is no longer welcome in your house. tell him you dont want an adult acting in the same manner that he is around you child because you dont want to have your child look at that and see that it is ok to act in that manner.

What He said ^^^^
Old enough to have a kid, old enough to not act like one..
Good luck and dont let him ruin Christmas for you and your family...

[68Formula]

That is disgusting. :barf: My six year old has better manners. Well, helps that she doesn't drink Bacardi.

Talk to your wife. Ask her to discuss it seriously with him. If she doesn't agree or doesn't do it strong enough, then tell him how you feel about these actions in a calm manner (no raised voice, no degrading statements, exaggerations, comparisons to animals, or name calling - just factual statements about what he did, and that it is inappropriate).

And as someone said, if "mommy" is there talk to her about it as well. I'm sure if someone mentions these things she would be embarrased at his actions and take care of it. I know I would be.

If it doesn't work, the wife can visit him next year for Christmas Eve without you or the kids. (Knowing what he does at your house infront of you, I wouldn't touch a bite at his.)

[Chad-1stGen]

wow I thought a scene like that only happened in the movies...

The scene I would be making would be inadvance and not inviting the person in the first place.

[70LS1NOVA]

give me (or someone) his email address: we'll send him a link to this post and maybe he'll get the point. If he doesn't take the hint, don't invite him back next year.

[jilge71]

give him a list of things you need him to do and keep him busy up untill its time to eat...send them all to the movies or something. even if you have to pay its a small price my friend.. try to slide by this year then just dont invite him back

[Dookie]

Jesus, that sux , i thought my inlaws were a pain in the ass . I have tried aimlesslessly to come up with a way to confront them with my problems , in a matter to not offend anyone , or let it blow up in my face . Because no matter what blood is thicker than water and i know it will somehow end up being my fault .
YOur story is one of the worst that ive heard , and there is no way i could bite my tongue , i would literaly explode .
Maybe you could find a way to confront him , and tell him that in no way are you trying to degrade him , but you are no longer going to accept his disgusting hygeine , or lack of .
THere is nothing worse that feeling like a prisoner in your own home.Something that i have learned is the more you bite your tounge and take it , the more they take advantage of it .

[WS6]

Damn LowBuck I feel for you man. I can't offer any advice as I would blow up like Dookie would on the person. I just do not put up with that crap. I do not accept any fault for telling the person straight up to get the hell out. He's old enough to know better and therefore does not need to be disciplined like some child learning the way the world works for the first time. Listen to the guys that are taking the calmer more civilized approached. Those plans sound pretty good to me. lol

Good luck and Merry Christmas.

[CarlC]

Send him this link!

Seriously, he needs to be set straight. Both you and your wife need to be on a unified front. It's not fair to dump this all on her our you. If you don't have a united front then the oaf will go to the other person, cry foul, and then it's a fight between you and your wife.

If he starts his antics, tell him politely to leave. My wife and I had to do this to her drunk uncle. Not easy, but in the end you will feel better that you did the right thing.

[Bill Howell]

Why would you care if you caused "ripples"? Slob comes into your house, acts like a 5 year old, and you "CARE" what he thinks? Or anyone else in the family for that matter???
This is one reason I hate holidays, you have to put up with such crap that you would not put up with the rest of the year. Tell him to stay home if he can not act like a civilized human being.....PERIOD. If he wants to live like a pig with mrs. piggy, fine, stay home.
As you can see, I have little tolerance for those that don't help themselves.......

[6'9"Witha69]

I would have a foot up his a$$ in 2 seconds if someone did that in my house, of course I am accustomed to being the biggest guy most anywhere so I have an advantage.

Carl is dead on about making sure the wife is on the same page.

Bill, take no guff from no one! Just like my Grandpa taught me. Love it!!

[hoosiergta]

It's always the hardest to talk to the person instead of using back channels. Tell him personally you don't want to make him mad or hurt but ,you are just about to kill him and you know how to get rid of the body.OK I was just kidding about the last part,but do tell him he had better be on his best behavour ,list past offences .You really cannot throw him out it would ruin everyone else's time just let him know comming in it could be his last.

[cad]

Yep---talk to the wife first, and then drop the hammer. No reason to pull punches if it is that bad.

[monza]

I know... get some roofies (sp?) drug him out....

[HEMIDAYTONA]

feed him well and rite before he leaves have a drink with him and whoever acts rude..that is spiked with sumthing that will umm you no have a good movement on the way home and it will be the last yr!!!:naughty:

[Mr.VENGEANCE]

beat his ass... and i mean become the bully you never were..

have him scared to death to come out of line..

believe me.. i know from experience.. thats how i handle my clients.

[Damn True]

beat his ass... and i mean become the bully you never were..

have him scared to death to come out of line..

believe me.. i know from experience.. thats how i handle my clients.

Now that's Christmas!

[southernfriedcj]

I would have banned him from my house after his first visit. If you must let him back in your house take him aside before he comes in an lay the ground rules. He gets out of line attack him with a ball peen hammer(they are magic).

[Steve Chryssos]

What is it with in-laws and boundaries? What would Doctor Phil do? Hmm...:hmm: Sounds like your brother-in-law is compensating for his low self-esteem by marking his territory on YOUR space. Very passive aggressive. It's important that you remain calm and mature. There are two options:
1) Doctor Phil: Bolster his sense of self and dignity by way of compliments and positive reinforcement. Nice. But,

2) Doctor Steve: How about obliterating his self-esteem altogether? Quantitatively speaking, low self-esteem will no longer be an issue, right? It sounds like you're a decent cook, so prepare him his his own batch of "finger" food with......

:evil: Laxatives. Lots of laxatives. :angel:

[vp23271]

Your house, your rules!

Definitely talk to your wife! She shares the same roof as you and make sure she is ok about you calling his poor manners what they are. They are disrespectful.

I have never been one to bite my tongue, so tell him what you think! If he doesn't get his crap together, tell him he is no longer welcomed in your home. Keep your cool and don't raise your voice. Just say it like it is. Embarrass the hell out of him and don't give him any wiggle room! There is nothing more humiliating than being told by your own family that you’re a slob! I am sure you are not the only family member that feels this way.

You should not be the one that is embarrassed. Your brother in law should be.

[vp23271]

beat his ass... and i mean become the bully you never were..

have him scared to death to come out of line..

believe me.. i know from experience.. thats how i handle my clients.

Too funny!

I hope your not a dentist!

[Steve68]

Bait him! and then be prepared, roll of quarters and if needed a baseball bat, BUT 1st be polite tell him you don't like what he does, and if he continues you'll have something special for him, if he contines knock him the F out, as they say "Your house Your rules"!

[1FstChevy]

Ha well I'd just say to sit him down and have a straight forward face to face discussion and un-invite him from all future events @ your household! I don't think I could tolerate someone like that in my home or knowing they were within 100yrds of my automobiles as well! :(

It might also help to change the frightening Hippo avatar! :) :) :) for the greater good of mankind!

[Samckitt]

I would meet him at the front door & let everyone else in but him, shut the door behind you with both of you outside & have a little discussion of rules & if he doesn't like it then he cannot come in the house.

[1FstChevy]

^^^ Outside banishment would probably be rather effective, especially if this gathering is taking place in northern Wisconsin!

[harshman]

"Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?" Clark Griswald -comes to mind. i'd cause ripples. never give him the power over you.

[yellowrallys]

Kindly make them (the hogs) reservations at a cheap motel (dosen't have to be close to your home). Even offer to pay for the first nite. If anyone wonders why, just explain what you have told here. No need in putting up with that kind of crap. One other option is for you and wifey to leave town during the holidays.

[zbugger]

Ok, here goes. All these other guys have good ideas, but most of them will cause ripples. Especially Steve's..... In the sewer system. Here's my plan. Sit the wife down and tell her that you're gonna be doing a small experiment. Liken it to "Pavlov's Dog". Only in reverse. Get a tazer, and every time he goes reaching for something, nail him with it. Pretty soon, he'll be expecting to be tazed for reaching for his own fork. Trust me, it'll benefit both of you. You'll lose the headache of him getting his grubby hands in everything, and he just might lose some weight!!

[Young Gun]

get a restraining order...dont allow him within 400 feet of your house...slap a nice bow on it, and voila...christmas

[Jim Nilsen]

Wasn't there a movie where there was a guy under the car and they pinned him there with a floor jack loosing a bit of height ? Your the one with the car to look at and of coarse he needs to see underneath it ,right !!!

Really ,your the one who feels trapped and between what? Everyone else who doesn't like him but are also afraid of him? Don't let his size fool you and just go after his ego,it is much more fragile and sensitive than his hard head and intimidating size. He is much more likely to behave if you get the backing of everyone and you be the one that tells him that you would like him to keep his fingers out of the food everyone is going to eat and stop sharing the drinks like they are all his then you will point it out to him when he does and he will not be invited back next year if he does and that noone cares what he thinks . You just seem unsure what others will think of you for being the bad guy on christmas. Give yourself and everyone else a present and take him out to see your car and set him straight and then let him mess up so you don't have to see his sorry self.

Not inviting them and telling everyone else why will help ease your guilt and not give him anyone to buy in to his fear tactics he is using no matter how simple they may seem.You will feel better right away and when you don't invite them back next year you will be glad you brought it up this year. Just remember to try and not talk about them and ruin your own good time when you have quit inviting them.

It's Christmas at your house ,not his :cheers:

[paul67]

Please let use know how you get on,and what you did in the end.If he starts doing things like what you've posted then maybe take pic's then when your round at famliy gatherings bring the pic's out and take the mickey out of him acting like a kid,+keep the tazzer handy

[Bill Howell]

Let him read this thread, you won't have to say a word. Send him to my house.......

[Steve Chryssos]

https://static1.pt-content.com/images/noimg.gif

[vanzuuk1]

Did he fart NEAR the child or ON the child? I have to know for some reason.

Did you say anything to him when he put his fingers in the food? I would have not been able to remain silent.


Oh , and the floor jack scene was in mad max."you lookin fer the toecutter and his gang? I havnt seen them since-gggggh...."

[Samckitt]

"Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?" Clark Griswald -comes to mind. i'd cause ripples. never give him the power over you.

I love that line. Definitely my favorite movie of all times. I wonder if that was one of those lines that Chevy Chase added on his own or if it was in the script?

[ullose2]

Man I hope everything is going well for you. I hate to say it but his antics remind me of my brother and one of my uncles. If its not too late just blunty but calmly state your feelings if he happens to cross the line again. Dont seem apologetic(sp?), but also try not to seem condescending. Just let him know that wont fly and quickly move on. I wish you the best of luck. Happy Holidays!


Heath

[mpozzi]

Offer him something alcoholic and spike it with a few drops of Visine. Then put him outside ...

Cheers,
Mary Pozzi

[shmoov69]

what does that do mary?

[WS6]

have you not seen wedding crashers? It makes the person sick to their stomach in a projectile vomiting way. Possibly explosive diarreaha

[OHCbird]

I'm with Bill- None of that crap in my house, no way. After the first finger-in-the-sauce-because-I-have-NO-personal-discipline scene, I would have choked his ass out. Funny thing how waking up naked out in the snow with BBQ sauce all over you changes your act.

[68Formula]

So, what was the outcome?

[6'9"Witha69]

I'm with Bill- None of that crap in my house, no way. After the first finger-in-the-sauce-because-I-have-NO-personal-discipline scene, I would have choked his ass out. Funny thing how waking up naked out in the snow with BBQ sauce all over you changes your act.:rotfl:

Man am I glad people just plain don't f with me.

[cad]

Rumor states that it causes "minor" convulsions and diarrhea, however, studies don't support that too much. The side effects are much more devastating to the central nervous system. It will qualify as a poisoning :rolleyes:. Put laxatives in the "care package" :).

[derekf]

More specifically, if the topic is still Visine:

http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp

[mpozzi]

More specifically, if the topic is still Visine:

http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp

Haven't actually experimented with it personally but have heard that it's been used by bartenders to "fix" obnoxious drunks. And yes, the use constitutes poisoning but if this oaf is as awful as you describe, Visine gets my vote.

Cheers,
Mary Pozzi

[69camarokid]

get him to come over a few hours early... nad then get him so plastered that he passes out for the rest of the night before everyone else shows up... haha good times

[CarlC]

Anything that could cause projectile vomiting or rocket pooh ain't happening in my house. I already get to hear about people who leave "jewels" from explosive decompression in the toilet. Cleaning up sucks no matter what!

[MarkM66]

He wouldn't be allowed anywhere near my family.

I don't care who it is, if they act like that, I won't be around them.

[trapin]

Several years ago I had a problem with my sister-in-law. It's a long story but it ended with my screaming every obscenity and insult in her face I could think of. I actually think I may have invented a few new ones in the process. Oh there were ramnifications, she left my house a bawling wreck and my wife didn't talk to me for three days. But you know what? Things changed...she got the picture. And today we're good friends. Never be afraid to confront someone no matter who it is. Especially if it's family.

[LowBuckX]

Well I stopped him at the door and had a man to man and he was good all day.... :santa3:

[paul67]

Glad it turned out ok.

[Young Gun]

glad everything worked out!

[Scott Parkhurst]

I'm also glad everything worked out okay...

but...

...part of me was hoping for a really funny story.


~SP~

[Kenova]

Well I stopped him at the door and had a man to man and he was good all day.... :santa3:

Aww crap! That was too easy!
Bet he makes up for it on his next visit.

Ken

[vp23271]

Well I stopped him at the door and had a man to man and he was good all day.... :santa3:

Glad to hear it all worked out for the better

[Mr.VENGEANCE]

ah.. good to hear..

the beat ass method works so well.. glad it dint apply to this.

[rob07002]

Just call him and tell him your get together was cancelled. Make any excuse, wife sick kids sick, contageous disease, whatever.

Word will get to him that you lied and then you can come clean. You'll give him one chance to act respectable or he'll be ostrasized.

It's a tough position to be in for sure, especially when it's family.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

[x2cstang]

Even though everything worked out ok I would still repay him the favor for farting on your child.

Maybe leave a cleveland steamer in the top part of his crapper? How about turning the water of that goes to his crapper, take a duece and leave it in there? It's better if you have a buddy go in after you and leave another duece ontop of yours. (ps don't forget the extra toliet paper).
How about using super glue on all of his bathroom supplies, if the fat a$$ uses them. I like to use it on the toothpaste lids, deoderant, shampoo, put some in the end of the push down soap thingy. Lock tite will work in a pinch if you forget the super glue.
Those are just a couple of harmless ideas that I could come up with on the fly.

[vintageracer]

Invite yourself (show up) at his house one weekend and act like your brother in law. This would make a GREAT weekend activity!

Scatch your ass and then dip you finger in food. Fart on his wife, gargle with his wiskey in the bottle, throw your empty beer cans in the corner by the TV, wipe your boogers on the couch or coffee table, park your car in his yard on the grass instead of the driveway, Belch loudly when he is talking, spit on the carpet, go over and bother his neighbor and ask for more beer, piss off the back porch or front porch for that matter, piss on the toliet seat if no back porch is available to piss off of, repeatedly spill your drink, tuck the table cloth into your belt when seated at the dinner table and then get up from the table (results in BIG MESS), pick you nose before you get your food, put your napkin on your right arm instead of your lap so you can wipe your face quickly without stopping while pigging out eating, tell his wife you really like her BIG ass and finally OVERSTAY YOUR WELCOME!

That should about take care of anymore visits by your brother in law's family to your house!

[6'9"Witha69]

Invite yourself (show up) at his house one weekend and act like your brother in law. This would make a GREAT weekend activity!

Scatch your ass and then dip you finger in food. Fart on his wife, gargle with his wiskey in the bottle, throw your empty beer cans in the corner by the TV, wipe you boogers on the couch for coffee table, park you car in his yard on the grass instead of the driveway, Belch loudly when he is talking, spit on the carpet, go over and bother his neighbor and ask for more beer, piss off the back porch or front porch for that matter, piss on the toliet seat if no back porch to piss off of, repeatedly spill your drink, tuck the table cloth into your belt when seated at the dinner table and then get up from the table (results in BIG MESS), pick you nose before you get your food, put your napkin on your right arm instead of your lap so you can wipe your face quickly without stopping while pigging out eating, tell his wife you really like her BIG ass and finally OVERSTAY YOUR WELCOME!

That should about take care of anymore visits by your brother in law's family to your house!I feel sorry for any annoying in-laws you may have HAD.