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  1. #21
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    Dec 2009
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    Look at what losing a child does to couples (married or otherwise) who were together long before having a child. You can't possibly expect to be the latest up and comer in her life and have the same kind of pull as a life that she created. Don't forget it sounds like she's thought she was in love a time or two in the past, and based on where she is now it doesn't sound like that went well for her.
    Oh, and a lot of those Charlie Sheen guys do one other thing as often as one night stands, it's called cheating (not that you do, it's just a part of that character which most girls come across). If you've set yourself up as the "on to the next one" guy in the eyes of others, then it's understandable that she's over concerned you've already got the next one queued up. It's her issue, but I've seen that persona kill trust in relationships before it even has a chance to grow.



  2. #22
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    Ok Ill weigh in here,,,dated a lady with two kids, she was in loveless,crap, marriage.
    finally got the ******* out.
    WE were friends,, my dad got us talking. I was simply trying to be her friend,,,,and did become her friend. she kept saying no sex, no strings, nothing personal etc.
    Well she took it farther, dont get me wrong her kids loved me being around because she was happy when I was around.
    Went on for few months,,,,then one night she just cuts it off.
    Dont get me wrong, if she wanted to back up fine, I was ok with it that way.
    Well a friend of mine,,a guy, he starts hanging out,,,,but her kids come over and ask why I am not staying away, and their mom isnt happy, they can tell.
    Well then she decides to move away, hooked up with different guy after about a month,,,not best guy in world,,,his past hurts her case with kids,,but so far so fine.
    Been 10 yrs and she is still with him but on opposite sides of house. Saw her and kids last week, daughter is what 17,18 now. Odd thing is Isee her she lights up and I ask her what happened,, she was jealous of me and kids.
    Hmmm
    Well anyway, as for Charlie Sheen moments, drinks and a different girl every night,,that gets old,,fast and is dangerous anymore.
    Too bad so many guys think a wife is a ball and chain or a nuisance. Bad thing is being alone and having NO connection,,,,well its worse than a girl every night.
    If she feels its going too fast slow down, be a friend, get comfortable, but dont push. Be open as to the fact you both have rocky family past, maybe even rocky life with past relationships. IF you really care for her and the son, be honest, but not pushy. Give her a chance, it sounds like she cares or you wouldnt be around. Build trust between your selves, trust is paramount to building a relationship.
    Take your time. If your 25 , you are still young, together it could be great for both of you,,,,patience is the key. Also understand, mothers and kids are inseparable, Enjoy that fact, it means she hasnt hardened her heart. Revel in the fact that she loves her kid, and even thinks about more kids.
    Being grown up also means understanding that faith, trust and love are all intertwined and dont doubt certain things,,,if she has feelings they will aways be there. You just have to trust the feelings that lasted for a while. The fact that you think she still looks good tells me that she IS a serious player for your efforts, just keep the faith, dont get drunk over the stupid stuff its clouds your brain and does nothign to help when your having issues.
    Clear head and heart works much better. One drink, fine, two fine, finish the bottle or try to drink the bar dry its just wasted money and brain cells.
    Quitting smoking is best thing for you, the fact that she took you far enough away from an addiction that you could quit,,,,thats a pretty good thing.
    Be careful because if she can put up with you and your car she is good one. Let her know that your car can be kind of like a child,,hard to part with.
    Just remember if it becomes you and her its side by side guiding the little one, not dragging him along.
    He can be the cement that binds you two together or a wedge. He likes you, thats great,,,,that means only you or her could make him a wedge.
    Be cool. and calm. When it feels right let her know how important she is and her boy.
    But not scary talk, just honest and right there. and let her know no pressure, you just dont want to lose a friend.
    Good Luck
    Lee
    PS if your religious, Talk to God, if not, might be a good time to start talking,,,,good listener,,,,always seems to have an ear for peoples problems. Again Good luck.
    Lee Abel
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  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkoNova View Post
    Well, I meant that I've got 2 DUI's and I've almost had kids from a few chicks, so I've had my "fun." When I started to think about getting with Sara I basically matured a bit and I stopped smoking cigarettes (not really for me, but because of the second hand smoke around her kid and/or our future kids) and I slowed WAY down on drinking.
    Not really to do much with the topic of the thread, but the latter should have happened WAY before meeting this chick.
    Eric
    1969/72 Corvette Coupe - https://www.pro-touring.com/showthre...uring-Corvette
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  4. #24
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    "Almost had kids from a few chicks". Got to wonder what that means.
    '67 GTO - LS3, 4L60E, SC&C AFX Package, KORE3 C6 Z06, Boyds PT-09s

    https://www.pro-touring.com/showthre...7-GTO-LS3-Swap


  5. #25
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    Being married to a woman is like driving on a bad road in a nice car. The road is the "marriage" and the "car" is the woman. There will be times when you have fresh pavement to ride on and you love your car because the ride is smooth and you don't hear any squeaks and rattles.
    Every voyage finds the bumps in the road though. The bumps mostly depend on emotional baggage (usually buried DEEP in the trunk). In this case it is her kid, her fledgling career/training, socio-economic reasons, etc .....
    Some people like to trade their car in when the rattles and squeaks get to be too loud, but rest assured, every "car" eventually develops wear because of the nature of the road (i.e. being married). It takes a while but they will all take you off of the smooth pavement. You can only partially control the route.
    If you aren't interested in driving over bumpy roads, don't get married. Some people prefer to lease "cars" their whole life.

    There is one good payoff with driving the same car and having "brand loyalty". You may have to do a lot more maintenance and put more work into it but it's like having the maintenance records. Some of the maintenance records earlier in the "cars" life may be from someone else but you know, from your time with the "car", when each issue showed itself and you know the action that was performed to make it better. Soon enough you can grow to know your "car" so well that you can head off expensive repair bills and avoid the complete overhaul.

    My advice to you: Stay away from expensive Italian models because while they may be fun to look at and your friends stare at her, the repair bills are enormous and drivers often let them go to avoid the repairs. Stay away from the 15 passenger Ford Econoline Van; they were MADE for baggage!

    My woman is a classic VW Beetle. Quirky. Makes a lot of noise. I have to do only routine maintenance but she's dependable as all hell. We've seen bad roads before but we went into Baja mode and made it through. The best this is that "cars" of this genre never go out of style and I don't feel compelled to trade her in.
    Currently, we are back on a smooth highway. As we carry our little ones to their next stop (toward adult hood) I am noticing the street lights are going by faster and faster. I guess you could say that the better the "car" the slower you want to go. At that point it becomes about the journey and not the destination.
    Johnny C.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    70 'cuda, Pro-Charged 408 stroker, Tremec 5 speed, Strange S-60, Alter-k-tion, Tri 4, Hydroboost and Wilwoods

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by go-fish View Post
    Being married to a woman is like driving on a bad road in a nice car. The road is the "marriage" and the "car" is the woman. There will be times when you have fresh pavement to ride on and you love your car because the ride is smooth and you don't hear any squeaks and rattles.
    Every voyage finds the bumps in the road though. The bumps mostly depend on emotional baggage (usually buried DEEP in the trunk). In this case it is her kid, her fledgling career/training, socio-economic reasons, etc .....
    Some people like to trade their car in when the rattles and squeaks get to be too loud, but rest assured, every "car" eventually develops wear because of the nature of the road (i.e. being married). It takes a while but they will all take you off of the smooth pavement. You can only partially control the route.
    If you aren't interested in driving over bumpy roads, don't get married. Some people prefer to lease "cars" their whole life.

    There is one good payoff with driving the same car and having "brand loyalty". You may have to do a lot more maintenance and put more work into it but it's like having the maintenance records. Some of the maintenance records earlier in the "cars" life may be from someone else but you know, from your time with the "car", when each issue showed itself and you know the action that was performed to make it better. Soon enough you can grow to know your "car" so well that you can head off expensive repair bills and avoid the complete overhaul.

    My advice to you: Stay away from expensive Italian models because while they may be fun to look at and your friends stare at her, the repair bills are enormous and drivers often let them go to avoid the repairs. Stay away from the 15 passenger Ford Econoline Van; they were MADE for baggage!

    My woman is a classic VW Beetle. Quirky. Makes a lot of noise. I have to do only routine maintenance but she's dependable as all hell. We've seen bad roads before but we went into Baja mode and made it through. The best this is that "cars" of this genre never go out of style and I don't feel compelled to trade her in.
    Currently, we are back on a smooth highway. As we carry our little ones to their next stop (toward adult hood) I am noticing the street lights are going by faster and faster. I guess you could say that the better the "car" the slower you want to go. At that point it becomes about the journey and not the destination.
    You nailed it Johnny.... I too have a very dependable VW Bug... that air cooled motor gives me hell when it gets hot... but she's never left me stranded...

    I've dated a few hot rods and exotics... fun for a while... but the constant work and attention they get always leads to trouble...

    not to say that VW bugs can't be sexy...(just incase the wife reads this) hehe

    -Sean

  7. #27
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    Feb 2010
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    Great now I have to tell my GF that she is a VW Bug... Can't wait to see her reaction to that one! HA

    But in response to the OP sounds like you are in a big rush to get married and have kids... Just relax, the relationships that work are for the most part drama free. Don't go trying to fix someone, just appreciate them for who they are or move on.
    BJ

    66 GTO LY6/4l80e

    Build Thread on LS1tech


  8. #28
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    Oct 2007
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    Atlanta
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    Wow, this one is too tempting to not chime in. I refrain from advice normally but since you asked... Keep it as low key as possible for now. It doesn't sound like either of you are mature enough or have your **** together enough right now for a serious relationship. Don't even think about marriage to her or anyone. And I'm not sure this is even the girl you need to be with right now (i.e a whole lot of emotional baggage). Sometimes your heart makes you do things that you shouldn't, sometimes your "other" parts do too, and sometimes your brain says this is the perfect girl on paper, but the other 2 primary organs don't agree. The best you can hope for is a mix of the three with proportions of each that you can live with. I can tell you that every woman has baggage, every relationship has drama. It's just how much and how often it's a problem. I know that when I was 25 I thought I was experienced, and I knew what I wanted. Guess what - I was only sort of on the track. Luckily, the girl I met about that time ended up growing and changing with me and not away from me. We're married now with kids and things are still changing. As long as both of you can roll with the changes, and most importantly roll together, it's all good. That's my story, and I consider myself lucky to have found her. Before that, I was having "too much" fun as you say as well. I don't regret it either, it was awesome. And if I hadn't done it, I wouldn't be who I am now, and probably would have messed up my relationship with my wife before it got started.

  9. #29
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    Aug 2004
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    England
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    Stick with cars there less hassle,if you don't dress up they don't moan ,if you stay out all night they don't moan,if you don't spend much money on them they don't moan,they can cost more but ears are never burning,trust me 25yrs,do what i want when and what i spend money on.Get another hobby to take your mind off her.

  10. #30
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    FWIW I used the VW Beetle analogy because at the moment (8 months pregnant) she resembles one. She likes beetles too and an understanding woman will brush away their man's retarded analogies and know that, at least, he meant well and she knows she's safe from having a guy that wants to "test drive" every "car" he sees.. LOL.
    Johnny C.
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    70 'cuda, Pro-Charged 408 stroker, Tremec 5 speed, Strange S-60, Alter-k-tion, Tri 4, Hydroboost and Wilwoods

  11. #31
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    Dec 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonzaRacer View Post
    Ok Ill weigh in here,,,dated a lady with two kids, she was in loveless,crap, marriage.
    finally got the ******* out.
    WE were friends,, my dad got us talking. I was simply trying to be her friend,,,,and did become her friend. she kept saying no sex, no strings, nothing personal etc.
    Well she took it farther, dont get me wrong her kids loved me being around because she was happy when I was around.
    Went on for few months,,,,then one night she just cuts it off.
    Dont get me wrong, if she wanted to back up fine, I was ok with it that way.
    Well a friend of mine,,a guy, he starts hanging out,,,,but her kids come over and ask why I am not staying away, and their mom isnt happy, they can tell.
    Well then she decides to move away, hooked up with different guy after about a month,,,not best guy in world,,,his past hurts her case with kids,,but so far so fine.
    Been 10 yrs and she is still with him but on opposite sides of house. Saw her and kids last week, daughter is what 17,18 now. Odd thing is Isee her she lights up and I ask her what happened,, she was jealous of me and kids.
    Hmmm
    Well anyway, as for Charlie Sheen moments, drinks and a different girl every night,,that gets old,,fast and is dangerous anymore.
    Too bad so many guys think a wife is a ball and chain or a nuisance. Bad thing is being alone and having NO connection,,,,well its worse than a girl every night.
    If she feels its going too fast slow down, be a friend, get comfortable, but dont push. Be open as to the fact you both have rocky family past, maybe even rocky life with past relationships. IF you really care for her and the son, be honest, but not pushy. Give her a chance, it sounds like she cares or you wouldnt be around. Build trust between your selves, trust is paramount to building a relationship.
    Take your time. If your 25 , you are still young, together it could be great for both of you,,,,patience is the key. Also understand, mothers and kids are inseparable, Enjoy that fact, it means she hasnt hardened her heart. Revel in the fact that she loves her kid, and even thinks about more kids.
    Being grown up also means understanding that faith, trust and love are all intertwined and dont doubt certain things,,,if she has feelings they will aways be there. You just have to trust the feelings that lasted for a while. The fact that you think she still looks good tells me that she IS a serious player for your efforts, just keep the faith, dont get drunk over the stupid stuff its clouds your brain and does nothign to help when your having issues.
    Clear head and heart works much better. One drink, fine, two fine, finish the bottle or try to drink the bar dry its just wasted money and brain cells.
    Quitting smoking is best thing for you, the fact that she took you far enough away from an addiction that you could quit,,,,thats a pretty good thing.
    Be careful because if she can put up with you and your car she is good one. Let her know that your car can be kind of like a child,,hard to part with.
    Just remember if it becomes you and her its side by side guiding the little one, not dragging him along.
    He can be the cement that binds you two together or a wedge. He likes you, thats great,,,,that means only you or her could make him a wedge.
    Be cool. and calm. When it feels right let her know how important she is and her boy.
    But not scary talk, just honest and right there. and let her know no pressure, you just dont want to lose a friend.
    Good Luck
    Lee
    PS if your religious, Talk to God, if not, might be a good time to start talking,,,,good listener,,,,always seems to have an ear for peoples problems. Again Good luck.
    This was a great post. Thanks Lee. And yeah, she loves my car. She said she already liked me in high school but when she saw my car she liked me even more. I honestly think she wants me to get it running more than I do, lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by sokoloka View Post
    Not really to do much with the topic of the thread, but the latter should have happened WAY before meeting this chick.
    Yeah, the first one was weird since I wasn't drunk (it was the next day; I guess I have a ridiculously high tolerance) and I was on the side of the freeway on those phone box things because my cell phone died and I was out of gas when I got busted. I guess because of that I figured it was just bad luck and it wouldn't happen again. Then I did it again and totalled my car. After that I stopped drinking and driving, but I still drank a lot on the weekends. She told me flat out that she doesn't like being around me when I'm that drunk because I stop caring about basically everything and she didn't want that to influence her kid. So now I just have a couple beers and I'm done.

    Quote Originally Posted by CFster View Post
    "Almost had kids from a few chicks". Got to wonder what that means.
    Not necessarily my fault, a lot of the chicks I've dated end up being kinda crazy. I don't know if they poked holes in condoms or if they were just messing with me to try and get money. I mean my main high school girlfriend ended up going to therapy and stalking me. Even after I changed my phone number she somehow found it and wouldn't leave me alone.

    And Johnny, I like that car reference, lol.
    Matt

    69 Nova - 357, TKO600, Tru Turn, some other stuff, awaiting LS1 swap
    71 Duster - all stock, slant 6, automatic. awaiting HEMI/T56 swap

  12. #32
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    Hey Matt,

    I have a radical idea. Why don't you be single for a while? I am being 100% serious.

    When I was 22, I was living at home, going to college, etc...I met a girl, we started dating, things got serious, we got engaged, moved in together, got married, had kids, $**t happened, we got divorced. I lived alone for 4 months and started living with another woman. We lived together for 5 years. By this point I was 36 years old. Do you see my point? From birth to 36 years of age, I never lived alone. I never had a chance to figure out who I was, what I wanted, what I needed, etc...

    From age 36 to about a year ago I was alone and it has been one of the most productive periods of my life. It's truly been an amazing ride.

    Take all that for what it's worth....

    Andrew
    1970 GTO Version 2.0
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  13. #33
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    Oct 2010
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    Wow....

    All I can say is ..... "train wreck"

    Run.... be single. You need some time, you have too many issues of your own to be attached to someone that also has issues....
    Troy
    67GTO

  14. #34
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    Mar 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by andrewb70 View Post
    Hey Matt,

    I have a radical idea. Why don't you be single for a while? I am being 100% serious.

    When I was 22, I was living at home, going to college, etc...I met a girl, we started dating, things got serious, we got engaged, moved in together, got married, had kids, $**t happened, we got divorced. I lived alone for 4 months and started living with another woman. We lived together for 5 years. By this point I was 36 years old. Do you see my point? From birth to 36 years of age, I never lived alone. I never had a chance to figure out who I was, what I wanted, what I needed, etc...

    From age 36 to about a year ago I was alone and it has been one of the most productive periods of my life. It's truly been an amazing ride.

    Take all that for what it's worth....

    Andrew
    Listen to him, for he speaks the truth. I found years ago that we must love and respect ourself before we stand any chance in a relationship. I have been single all my life, and know this that it is not the end of the world if you never marry or have children. I know of what i say, for I am my own child.
    Stay in it till you see God....then lift

    Where patience fails, force prevails

    "When you're born, you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're born in America, you get a front-row seat." G. Carlin

    Stapp's Ironical Paradox...... "The universal aptitude for ineptitude makes any human accomplishment an incredible miracle."

  15. #35
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    Be young! life's to short, roll with it and have fun...
    Steve Martin
    67 Camaro RS
    66 Chevelle

  16. #36
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    my friends and I have a saying that may be appropriate at a time like this:

    "sack up, dude". Means crank up some testosterone, let the pair drop down a little and move on. She's young with a child, and that child is #1 and NEEDS to be #1. At best, you will always be #2, and that is how it should be. You'll understand one day if you have kids yourself. You probably need someone that doesn't have as many issues or complications based on what I read. Also, the demons that are there before marriage will be the same or possibly worse after marriage, so make sure you clear your head before going forward.

  17. #37
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    People will tend to re-create in adulthood what they experienced as a child. They will do this, no matter how crazy those experiences are i.e. abuse, chaos, etc., until they have enough stuff happen to them that they get professional help. Do not think that if you provide a stable comfortable household that they will settle down and it will change them (ask me how I know). They will CREATE what is familiar to them if it's not already happening organically, sometimes by turning the most ordinary everyday occurrences into a dramatic mess. If you have had similarly crazy experiences as a child and hook up with a girl that also has, please use birth control and get some therapy if you want things to be different.

    It's MUCH harder to undo a marriage that shouldn't have happened than it is to get yourself in a healthy place where you can pick the right partner for you. (ask me how I know)

    Good luck!
    Erik

    https://www.pro-touring.com/showthre...without-a-name

    Camaro LS2, T56, 12 bolt, C6 Z06 brakes, Rushforth Super Spokes, ATS Spindles
    2006 Chevy Trailblazer SS

  18. #38
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    I met my wife (not legally married, but live together. I know some US states don't accept common law, but in Canada we are considered to be married as we live together) about 12 years ago. She was a single mom. As said several times, a mom will never love anyone more than her child. Especially if she's a single mom. Don't ever put yourself above her child as he is blood and you are.....well replaceable. You will always come in second. One of the most important things that I learned very quick in the relationship is that if you want the relationship to work, you have to realize one thing....it's not you dating her, it's you dating her and her child. You can't go into the relationship expecting her to be able to go out whenever, stay up to all hours, etc. She's still a mom. Instead of making her get a babysitter, I tried to include her daughter as much as I could. We'd go to the drive in and take her daughter with us, etc. When I went over to visit, I'd bring her daughter candy or other little gifts. Well it's been 11 years and we're still together. From all that, ask yourself, if you're not willing to be second to her son (yes there will be times with just the two of you and you will feel like you're number one) and you're not willing to accept the fact that it's a 2 for 1 deal, my advise is to walk away before you get too attached. You're still young, lots of time to fall in love. If you choose to fight for her and you're willing to accept the above points, things will get easier from there.

  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by andrewb70 View Post
    Hey Matt,

    I have a radical idea. Why don't you be single for a while? I am being 100% serious.

    When I was 22, I was living at home, going to college, etc...I met a girl, we started dating, things got serious, we got engaged, moved in together, got married, had kids, $**t happened, we got divorced. I lived alone for 4 months and started living with another woman. We lived together for 5 years. By this point I was 36 years old. Do you see my point? From birth to 36 years of age, I never lived alone. I never had a chance to figure out who I was, what I wanted, what I needed, etc...

    From age 36 to about a year ago I was alone and it has been one of the most productive periods of my life. It's truly been an amazing ride.

    Take all that for what it's worth....

    Andrew
    Well I haven't had a real "girlfriend" since high school. I do still live with my parents, though, because I have a dead end job and my only car (the Nova) isn't drivable right now. Applying to jobs all the time and every now and then I get interviews but that's it. I don't even know what I want to do for a living. I went to UTI and worked at Firestone for a while, but I'd work on cars all day and then when I get home and my car has problems, I didn't feel like doing anything because I'd just spent the whole day fixing cars. I don't want to turn something I love into just a job.

    I do remember in high school I was all into weightlifting and I was way ahead of anyone else in my gym class and my teacher asked if I wanted to get into pro bodybuilding because he knew some sponsors and he could help me get a foot in the door...I dunno, maybe I should look into that..

    Quote Originally Posted by 406 Q-ship View Post
    Listen to him, for he speaks the truth. I found years ago that we must love and respect ourself before we stand any chance in a relationship. I have been single all my life, and know this that it is not the end of the world if you never marry or have children. I know of what i say, for I am my own child.
    Yeah, up until a couple years ago when we started talking I really thought I'd just be alone for the rest of my life. Never planned on having kids or getting married. Maybe because my boss at my current job is going through a divorce after 10 or so years (with two kids) because his wife cheated on him, and he's losing half of his stuff, you know the whole nine yards. He even told me "don't get married". Or maybe it's because I've seen my parents fighting constantly and don't want to deal with that. Or maybe it's partly because of something my mentor in DUI class said. I forget the statistic, but something like if one of your parents is an alcoholic, you're twice as likely to be one, and if both of your parents are alcoholics, you're 4x as likely to be one. And one of my dad's brothers is an alcoholic, and one of my mom's sister's is an alcoholic. So I didn't want to have kids with the same traits as them/me.

    Quote Originally Posted by ErikLS2 View Post
    People will tend to re-create in adulthood what they experienced as a child. They will do this, no matter how crazy those experiences are i.e. abuse, chaos, etc., until they have enough stuff happen to them that they get professional help. Do not think that if you provide a stable comfortable household that they will settle down and it will change them (ask me how I know). They will CREATE what is familiar to them if it's not already happening organically, sometimes by turning the most ordinary everyday occurrences into a dramatic mess. If you have had similarly crazy experiences as a child and hook up with a girl that also has, please use birth control and get some therapy if you want things to be different.

    It's MUCH harder to undo a marriage that shouldn't have happened than it is to get yourself in a healthy place where you can pick the right partner for you. (ask me how I know)

    Good luck!
    Yeah, I can't remember when it was or exactly what she said, but she said something along the lines of "I like chaos"...but honestly, I fractured my skull around 10-ish years ago, and with 5-ish years of hard drinking, my memory has gotten pretty terrible. My friends joke about it all the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by scherp69 View Post
    I met my wife (not legally married, but live together. I know some US states don't accept common law, but in Canada we are considered to be married as we live together) about 12 years ago. She was a single mom. As said several times, a mom will never love anyone more than her child. Especially if she's a single mom. Don't ever put yourself above her child as he is blood and you are.....well replaceable. You will always come in second. One of the most important things that I learned very quick in the relationship is that if you want the relationship to work, you have to realize one thing....it's not you dating her, it's you dating her and her child. You can't go into the relationship expecting her to be able to go out whenever, stay up to all hours, etc. She's still a mom. Instead of making her get a babysitter, I tried to include her daughter as much as I could. We'd go to the drive in and take her daughter with us, etc. When I went over to visit, I'd bring her daughter candy or other little gifts. Well it's been 11 years and we're still together. From all that, ask yourself, if you're not willing to be second to her son (yes there will be times with just the two of you and you will feel like you're number one) and you're not willing to accept the fact that it's a 2 for 1 deal, my advise is to walk away before you get too attached. You're still young, lots of time to fall in love. If you choose to fight for her and you're willing to accept the above points, things will get easier from there.
    That's a good point, actually. Maybe I never realized that until you said it. I dunno, before I started staying at her place to watch Mason, we'd hang out on the weekends, and since they stayed at her sister's house, her sister was always there to watch him. So maybe I just figured we could still do stuff and he'd have someone to watch him. But I do the same thing as you, he LOVES The Land Before Time, and I did as a kid, too. I had hand puppet things (I think) from Pizza Hut, and a dump truck and a bunch of other stuff. I brought those over and he just lit up and was all excited. And I love pez and so does he, so I bring him pez every now and then. And I try to involve him in stuff. Since he's never really had a dad, when I'm fixing stuff at her house he always comes over and wants to help, so I let him. I even told her when I get the block and rotating assembly back from the shop, she's more than welcome to bring him down and have him help put everything together.

    Also, I'm actually surprised at the feedback I'm getting. And the views this thread is getting. It's only a few days old and it has damn near 900 views! And the handful of friends I've talked to about this just said I was gay or a bitch or whatever, which is fine since we joke around and insult each other all the time, but I don't think they know how serious this whole situation is.

    Just...thanks for being so mature about everything.

    And Mike (sherp), I'm so freakin jealous of your Nova (this is America so I'm calling it a Nova LOL). I've been following your build over on SNS for a while and I wish I had your welding skills.
    Matt

    69 Nova - 357, TKO600, Tru Turn, some other stuff, awaiting LS1 swap
    71 Duster - all stock, slant 6, automatic. awaiting HEMI/T56 swap

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarkoNova View Post
    I said yeah, sometimes it feels like you love your son more than me. I mean yeah, she's a mom, and he's her flesh and blood, but she says she loves me but she does stuff sometimes that just seems like she ignores me and goes straight for him. A couple days later she said that really bothers her more than she thought it would.
    Sounds like she has her panties on right and ran after you said that stupid immature crap......it's almost unbelievable anyone would admit saying something so stupid. If she hung around I would seriously think twice about how good of mother she actually is. She has kid and you knew it and then all of the sudden he is your competition for her time and affection that is just seriously f'ed up and tells me that your an emotional insecure boy...yes boy because a man would not but himself in front of kid asking for his mothers affection and attention first and expecting the mother to pick you over her son. You also pointed that in your post that you could really give a crap about the kid when you called him an "IT" as in "its" at her in laws house. You really need to step back and evaluate just how secure you are with yourself before getting involved with another person and god forbid they have a kid or kids.

    As a father of 4 wonderful children and soon to be grandfather I am so glad I was the azzhole father that chased away boys that that acted like like you away from my daughters. They did not have kids but it was an easy tell that all they wanted was attention and sex and could give a crap about anything else...... Yea it hurt them but they have both said they are so thankful now!! You need to grow up....hopefully you can do that!!

    When it comes to actual real world responsibility like being a father or a step father I really hope you can snap out of it and become a man....we all know there are enough pieces of crap out there raising kids.....please grow up and don't be one of turds!!!!! It ake so much more than just including a kid in fixing things and the occasional attention when your around....it takes love, heart, affection and you thinking he is number one also. One day you might get it....the boy deserves it!!
    "If you can leave black marks on a straight from the time you exit a corner till the time you brake for the next turn.......
    Then, you have enough horsepower."
    -Mark Donahue

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