Originally Posted by
MonzaRacer
Ok Ill weigh in here,,,dated a lady with two kids, she was in loveless,crap, marriage.
finally got the ******* out.
WE were friends,, my dad got us talking. I was simply trying to be her friend,,,,and did become her friend. she kept saying no sex, no strings, nothing personal etc.
Well she took it farther, dont get me wrong her kids loved me being around because she was happy when I was around.
Went on for few months,,,,then one night she just cuts it off.
Dont get me wrong, if she wanted to back up fine, I was ok with it that way.
Well a friend of mine,,a guy, he starts hanging out,,,,but her kids come over and ask why I am not staying away, and their mom isnt happy, they can tell.
Well then she decides to move away, hooked up with different guy after about a month,,,not best guy in world,,,his past hurts her case with kids,,but so far so fine.
Been 10 yrs and she is still with him but on opposite sides of house. Saw her and kids last week, daughter is what 17,18 now. Odd thing is Isee her she lights up and I ask her what happened,, she was jealous of me and kids.
Hmmm
Well anyway, as for Charlie Sheen moments, drinks and a different girl every night,,that gets old,,fast and is dangerous anymore.
Too bad so many guys think a wife is a ball and chain or a nuisance. Bad thing is being alone and having NO connection,,,,well its worse than a girl every night.
If she feels its going too fast slow down, be a friend, get comfortable, but dont push. Be open as to the fact you both have rocky family past, maybe even rocky life with past relationships. IF you really care for her and the son, be honest, but not pushy. Give her a chance, it sounds like she cares or you wouldnt be around. Build trust between your selves, trust is paramount to building a relationship.
Take your time. If your 25 , you are still young, together it could be great for both of you,,,,patience is the key. Also understand, mothers and kids are inseparable, Enjoy that fact, it means she hasnt hardened her heart. Revel in the fact that she loves her kid, and even thinks about more kids.
Being grown up also means understanding that faith, trust and love are all intertwined and dont doubt certain things,,,if she has feelings they will aways be there. You just have to trust the feelings that lasted for a while. The fact that you think she still looks good tells me that she IS a serious player for your efforts, just keep the faith, dont get drunk over the stupid stuff its clouds your brain and does nothign to help when your having issues.
Clear head and heart works much better. One drink, fine, two fine, finish the bottle or try to drink the bar dry its just wasted money and brain cells.
Quitting smoking is best thing for you, the fact that she took you far enough away from an addiction that you could quit,,,,thats a pretty good thing.
Be careful because if she can put up with you and your car she is good one. Let her know that your car can be kind of like a child,,hard to part with.
Just remember if it becomes you and her its side by side guiding the little one, not dragging him along.
He can be the cement that binds you two together or a wedge. He likes you, thats great,,,,that means only you or her could make him a wedge.
Be cool. and calm. When it feels right let her know how important she is and her boy.
But not scary talk, just honest and right there. and let her know no pressure, you just dont want to lose a friend.
Good Luck
Lee
PS if your religious, Talk to God, if not, might be a good time to start talking,,,,good listener,,,,always seems to have an ear for peoples problems. Again Good luck.