Brother inlaw and My wife WTF Help..

[LowBuckX]

My god My wife and brother inlaw are fighting and I NEED it to stop. They are both self centered brats (but I love my wife) and they are having a ME ME ME fight. He is tired of hearing about her she is tired of hearing about him now my wife has called my brother inlaws wife a B1tch (SEE BOTTOM NOTE) and some how Ive been dragged in. This has all started over FaceBook crap and is one of the reasons Ive never joined. My 6 foot 7 550 plus pound brother inlaw has now threatened to beat up my wife if he ever sees her again.... Ive told my wife that this has to stop with her because Im tire of hearing about it and he means nothing to me....
yes we are all in our mid 30s not high school like it sounds

What else can I do.. frankly I dont care if they use me in this so thats not an issue I never see him but once a year. ..

Called her a B because they said me and wife took the easy way out to loose weight by having surgery I said let it be I dont care what they think because they are twice the size we where and they have no room to talk but my wife couldnt leave it be ..

[mc84_zz4]

<groan> that's a tough one...
Sounds like you all need to be supportive of each other, regardless of which way you went about doing weight loss.
It still a goal you all have in common. Try to help each other, it's not a competition, if you lose some weight, you are winning.
It also will not happen overnight, it can take months, years, to reach a realistic goal too.
I'd avoid facebook for a while, just post occassional updates for friends/family that are far away, not a daily blog...
Good luck, I hope you all can patch things up when feelings get trampled.

[MrQuick]

face book is the worst for inner familly grumblings...my take on it is if you aren't $%@*&#$@!* to say it to my face, it isn't worth fighting over.

tell them both to grow up.

Vince

[wicked68]

take the high road. call the mjointly or sit down with them and tell them "you guys are family - its not worth being in any kind of strife or fights with you guys - we love you dearly and we are sorry for our part of this fight and problems - we wish to put this behind us - move forward and only want to be supportive of you guys".

Give them a hug and sit back. What they do after that does not matter.

If they dont appologize and they walk away - then move on and leave the door open - if they call you to talk reasonably and they come around - accept them back. If they dont call you again - you will have done the right thing and have nothing bad to feel about.

do not engage with any negative things after that - ignore it - delete their negative facebook post from the past and in the future and delete your negative ones as well. those are things that just keep things simmering.

Tell your wife you would like her to be on board simply for you if nothing else - she probably wont refuse a favor for you. Tell her its about you and not them.

Good luck.

[wicked68]

face book is the worst for inner familly grumblings...my take on it is if you aren't $%@*&#$@!* to say it to my face, it isn't worth fighting over.

tell them both to grow up.

Vince


If you tell them to grow up you will only inflame the situation

[LowBuckX]

I do not Facebook this is my wife and her brother and his wife...

[DocJr]

You gotta love family..LOL

I have family problems, my immediate family found it's easier to stay distant from the rest.

Facebook isn't a bad place...just don't add family as friends...and if you do, yet again, stay distant.

NOTE: That's what we found works best, some families aren't happy unless they're stirring Sh...

We've always said, our family is huge, and it resides on a parking lot every Saturday night...

This seems like a smaller problem that could be worked out...Good Luck man!:twothumbs

[UNmolestedTA]

I have a similar situation. My brother in law has a history of always starting arguements in my wife's family. In fact I used to defend this guy and actually be somewhat friends. However, I found out that he uses people and lies. Funny thing is, currently he is on medication for anger issues! Solution: don't talk to your brother in law and cancel your internet for a month just to show your wife that you want this to stop.

[JJEH]

Whatever you do, consider that you cannot chance a humans personality.

I suggest that you talk to your wife on a neutral ground - invite her to an almost perfect dinner for example - and tell her that the situation messes up everything.

A discussion or rather an exchange of minds because of losing weight is wonderful (i do the same with my wife) but arguing about it is ridiculous...

[TonyHuntimer]

Whatever you do, consider that you cannot chance a humans personality.

I suggest that you talk to your wife on a neutral ground - invite her to an almost perfect dinner for example - and tell her that the situation messes up everything.

A discussion or rather an exchange of minds because of losing weight is wonderful (i do the same with my wife) but arguing about it is ridiculous...

And if you care about seeing that side of the family again, you can tell her that you don't want to end up like my two brothers. There was a fight that broke out between their wives in 1987. My brothers have not spoken to each other since 1987. That's a long time and there is no end in sight.

Tony Huntimer
RaceHome.com

[sunkistcamaro]

My brother-in-law and wife used to always fight about the stupidest things. The funny thing is that they would always be friends again after a month of cool down. I have always tried to stay out of there squabbles but I think its time you step in for your wife. Just my opinion but a big guy like that threatening your wife is not cool and that is where I draw the line. Will he talk to you? If he is a man that has some sort of respect for you should tell him that this is threatening S%it is not cool and this needs to stop. Then drop it, he should get the point. But you need to tell your wife the same.
I (luckily) have only had to intervene once. I think it worked out really good that he understood that I am on her side and not just a fly on the wall.
In the end they are family and need to over come this.
Im sorry your in the middle, I feel your pain.

[Takid455]

Sounds BS comments are causing havoc situations. perhaps a gathering of all parties to discuss in person is needed. Allows everyone top put their qualms on the table and get their problems off their chest. Often clears up and misunderstandings if any.


All else fails, have a gangbang.:spank2::bananna2:

[Scott Parkhurst]

Settle it with a 100 yd dash. Loser buys dinner and apologizes.

[Pro Stock]

Sounds like maybe there might be some other issues, do you and your wife make more money than they do that made it possible to afford the operations when they couldn't?, it could be an envy (jelousy) problem. It is best to know the root cause of the problem before trying to fix it, sometimes things can't be fixed, I haven't talked to my sister for over 15 years because of the way she treated and continues to treat my mom, sometimes you can't fix B*&%ch.

Dale

[406 Q-ship]

After reading this it makes me glad to be an unmarried only child.

[6'9"Witha69]

Sometimes being the biggest in the family works wonders.

[Tony_SS]

Called her a B because they said me and wife took the easy way out to loose weight by having surgery I said let it be I dont care what they think because they are twice the size we where and they have no room to talk but my wife couldnt leave it be ..

Sounds like she has a jealous brother. Has she been successful in losing and keeping the weight off? Maybe that gets his goat if he's having a hard time losing weight.

My father in law had this done, and in less than a years time he's lost 60lbs. More importantly it forced him to rethink every thing he puts in his body and has changed him for the better.

Tell her to take the high road and ignore his antics. She'll get more satisfaction in knowing she's keeping herself healthy and there's always going to be someone jealous of something somewhere.

[67 455 Bird ragtop]

Take the advice of a GREAT GREAT man ...

"My advice to you is to start drinking heavily."
- Bluto Blutarsky

[kochevy67]

Buy him a case of Twinkies and gift cards to his favorite burger joint.

Just kidding, tell her to let it go and drop the communincation with him.

Remember you can't pick your family you can only pick your friends.

[paul67]

Sound to me like the in-laws are jealous of what you both have achieved.

[novaderrik]

tell them to either grow up and treat each other like adults or don't interact with each other for a while.
a good start would be to take each other off their "friends" list on facebook.

[Bow Tie 67]

If your wife is open to advice ask her if she would be willing to appologize for calling her a name and then take a break. If you dont think that will work just stay out of it, and let it run its course.

My wife would not allow me to invite her sister to our wedding. I fought her on this to no avail. After three years of not speaking to each other she finally started to acknowledge her. Now they are like best friends again.

Good luck bro.

Oh and if none of that helps, I vote for the 100 yard dash. :)

[MonzaRacer]

Just jealous, if it was me, block them off face book, ignore the crap dont let them get you. Tell wife to take 6 months and dont even chat with them, let them extend olive branch in first 6 months, if you calm down and decide to renter family life do it after 6monthsof no contacts what so ever even if it becomes hard at family events.
If they say something then just say I am not arguing, drop it. Be nice, be calm, and dont let fighting begin, but I would also let it be known what will happen if the big guy goes after YOUR wife(ie pain, agony, possible death(from trying to run and catch her haha if she has gotten in better shape than him), prosecution, etc.
No one would threaten my wife without dire consequences.
good luck buddy, great to hear your success has done some good , for you guys at least, My cousin had that operation done and looks so much better. I always worried about him.
Oh and pray for them to come to their senses too.

[dcozzi]

Normally, I would just let them do their thing but, the brother in law is now threatening to beat up your wife next time he sees her? That is a whole different realm he has stepped his big ass into.

I would call him and ask him if he is really going to become physically voilent towards her or if he was just typing angry. If he is serious, you have two ways to go. Tell him you are going to break both his kneecaps next time you see him or turn his public threats over to the police.

My personal POV is that it is people's best interest not to threaten the woman who is as important to me as my own mother. I would be very angry with him. That is just my POV of course.

[LowBuckX]

I told the wife that she is banned from talking to him unless he apologizes and they are willing to be civil. Facebook he was defriended and his email is blocked... Now Im going to take someone up on the heavy drinking part and get some hooch and go to the garage for relaxing time of wireing..

[Vegas69]

Call Jerry Springer

[LateNight72]

Call Jerry Springer
http://www.jerryspringertv.com/

[ArtosDracon]

At least their not F-ing? That would be worse, though better suited for Springer.

[TonyHuntimer]

I hope everything turns out. It does sound like they are jealous of what you both did. If they want to lose weight and don't want to got the surgery route, maybe they should get onto Biggest Loser. I love that show!


Settle it with a 100 yd dash. Loser buys dinner and apologizes.

On a lighter note, Scott is a wise man. Or is he a wiseacre? :)
I vote for the 100 yard dash or a game of rock, paper, scissors.

Tony Huntimer
RaceHome.com

[DFRESH]

Sometimes being the biggest in the family works wonders.

LOL--say's the 6'9 (who lusts wimp blood) guy that has to look down at me at 6'4---I bet no one ever says to you "hey, grow up".

[MonzaRacer]

Big thing to remember is that no person regardless of size can not be beat.
Had many a guys in high school mistake me not fighting back to them being better or something, till they cornered me out of school. Had one guy , a lifter for cheerleaders, got his a$$ handed to him at away game, cops come and cant believe this guy got his butt whooped by little ol me..
Hope it works out dude and congrats , it looks like weight loss got you some extra weight loss(dead weight family causing problems).