Tiger
11-25-2004, 12:24 PM
>Black November
>When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
>My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop.
>Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
>And he told me there was something I had to know.
>His look and his tone I will always remember,
>When he told me of the horrors of....Black November.
>"Come about August, now listen to me,
>Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three.
>And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
>And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.
>And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
>In'll burst the farmer's wife and hack off your head.
>Then she'll pluck out your feathers so you're bald and pink, And scoop
>out your insides and leave you lying in the sink. And then comes the
>worst part he said not bluffing, "She'll spread your cheeks and pack
>your rear end with stuffing!" Well, the rest of his words were too grim
>to repeat, I sat on the stoop like a singed piece of meat.
>I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
>I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked.
>I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
>High roughage salads, juice and diet cola.
>And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
>I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes.
>I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
>And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed.
>But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
>As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.
>And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
>I was the last turkey left in the whole compound.
>So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap,
>I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap.
>She held me today, while sewing and humming,
>And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming........."
>When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
>My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop.
>Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
>And he told me there was something I had to know.
>His look and his tone I will always remember,
>When he told me of the horrors of....Black November.
>"Come about August, now listen to me,
>Each day you'll get six meals instead of just three.
>And soon you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
>And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.
>And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
>In'll burst the farmer's wife and hack off your head.
>Then she'll pluck out your feathers so you're bald and pink, And scoop
>out your insides and leave you lying in the sink. And then comes the
>worst part he said not bluffing, "She'll spread your cheeks and pack
>your rear end with stuffing!" Well, the rest of his words were too grim
>to repeat, I sat on the stoop like a singed piece of meat.
>I decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
>I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked.
>I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
>High roughage salads, juice and diet cola.
>And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
>I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes.
>I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
>And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed.
>But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
>As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.
>And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
>I was the last turkey left in the whole compound.
>So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap,
>I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap.
>She held me today, while sewing and humming,
>And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming........."